I’ve been meaning to write, but haven’t felt motivated. I wanted to do a quick check in at day 90.
Life. Is. So. Good. School is out for the summer. The pool is refreshing and steps from my doorwall. The garden is thriving and the hot days are lazy. The highlight of my days are after dinner when hubby and I typically take a bike ride. I pledged to ride 150 miles this month to raise money to fight pediatric cancer. So far I’ve ridden 105.
I haven’t been reading or writing as much as I want to. I’ve been waking up later than I would like and hastily chugging coffee before heading out to daily errands/appointments. I’m trying to get caught up with things but think it will slow down soon.
Cravings and Urges
We went up north last Friday to relax and celebrate our 17th anniversary. I thought I would be fine. After all, I thought I mastered staying sober at the cottage. It sure took some practice, but by the end of last summer, I was used to and enjoyed going to bed sober there.
Shortly after arriving, Betsy started chirping in my ear about how nice it would be to relax with hubby and some drinks. After all, celebrating our anniversary was a joyous occasion and a good excuse to get wasted. I listened to her enough to bring it up to hubby. His response was:
“What day are you on?” and “No. We’ll get some good snacks and yummy NA drinks to enjoy.”
I know that he would probably have enjoyed a few beers and kind of wanted him to agree to a few drinks. I’m thankful that he is smart and cares about me enough to not contribute to a relapse. Let’s get real, it would not have been a night or two of drinks. It would have been a binge for days or weeks and probably would have taken me months to get back into a total abstinence pattern. It’s kind of frightening to think that I came that close to throwing away 83 days.
The weekend was good. We bought 2 hard kayaks and 1 tandem blow up kayak at Walmart. The blow up one deflated and the hard ones ended up getting water on the inside of the boat (not where you sit.. but on the inside where you can’t reach into– pretty much the worse design ever!). Needless to say, it was a long and treacherous day of kayaking and we ended up taking them all right back to the store.
We are going back up tomorrow for the weekend and taking the scout troop with us. It should be an eventful weekend…
I had my first wellness visit in the longest time yesterday. It felt good to honestly say that I don’t smoke or drink at all, and that my worst vice is 3+ cups of daily coffee. Tomorrow morning first thing, I get to have my very first mammogram done! Blood work from my rheumatologist always shows that I’m anemic and she always wants me to follow up with my dr. So, I did that yesterday and now I have to go to a hematologist. All of these visits are kind of nerve wracking to anticipate– but at least if there is a problem then I’ll have a chance to get it treated. Maybe if they can fix my anemia I won’t be so tired sometimes (I am just waking up from a 3:00 siesta as I write this.. my 30 minute afternoon naps do wonders).
Sooooo.. that is all. This is probably my most boring and dull post– but I wanted to check in, especially at day 90– a milestone day. The longest stretch of sobriety that I have ever is 93 days and I am SUPER excited to surpass that and to reach triple digits!