What does being in a funk look like to you? To me it’s getting up late everyday, not being my best self and having a general feeling of unhappiness that affects my entire day. It makes it hard to move and even get a shower in. I don’t have much of an opportunity to getContinue reading “Day 107 — That Funky Feeling”
I’m going to make this quick because it’s already almost 11 am and I need to work on my final project for my class that I’ve been putting off ALL weekend. I wanted to get up super early today to work on it, but couldn’t sleep till after 3am, therefore I slept in until 9.Continue reading “Easter 2019”
Ahhhhh…. remember the good old days, with longer stretches of sobriety– and me loving getting in some extra exercise on my glorious and beloved sober weekend? Either do it. It seems like a lifetime ago. This weekend I was particularly brutal to myself. We had to watch our niece Friday night and I was horrifiedContinue reading “In the Devil’s Grip”
My life is slowly spiraling out of control. I am at ease with it. I know that I have to make some big changes, I’m just not ready yet. I quit the AIP diet in the third week. It was a TOUGH week. All my meals were tasting so gross, I was choking them down,Continue reading “Life and My Stinkin’ Thinkin’”
I could l see myself in both women and on the way home I reflected–WHO do I want to be?
I know that he would probably have enjoyed a few beers and kind of wanted him to agree to a few drinks. I’m thankful that he is smart and cares about me enough to not contribute to a relapse. Let’s get real, it would not have been a night or two of drinks. It would have been a binge for days or weeks and probably would have taken me months to get back into a total abstinence pattern. It’s kind of frightening to think that I came that close to throwing away 83 days.
So.. my birthday happened, my friends came & it was a great celebration & alcohol was a welcome and tame guest. In all regards, it would appear that my struggle with alcohol is a think of the past– right???
I’ve been dreading this post, but it has to be written. From the beginning, the most important thing to me was to be honest and transparent. In the beginning there was a whole lot of ugliness, AKA all of my posts from 2016. In 2017 things got much better and my posts were mostly positive. Continue reading “Day Drinking”
Day 1 for me, yet again. This time I feel ready. I am so incredibly excited for a long stretch of sobriety. I’m continuing to learn and build up my toolbox and I’m optimistic about the future.
My addiction is winning, it is the devil. I want to fight– I CAN defeat this monster.