I hit what felt like “rock bottom” two nights ago. I didn’t go to jail– or screw up my marriage– but I was at an all time low– feeling completely helpless, hopeless and just plain sad. This was Sunday and I had spent the whole day trying not to burst into tears over my foot and the uncertainties that have come with it.
Summer 2018 is coming to a close! Well, technically, we have about a month left of summer, but summer vacation is almost history. Today is Friday and I go back to work on Tuesday. I was at school last week for a meeting and most teachers are already hard at work setting up their classrooms. Continue reading “Summer Reflections”
I miss the days when lockdown drills seemed so unnecessary and silly. In today’s world, they are crucial. Nevertheless, as time goes by and the bad thoughts go away and the procedural stuff dies down, life will return to normal and good.
Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Fear is necessary. The bottom line is that fear is intended to keep us safe. Most people are familiar with the fight-or flight response. When our lives are threatened, physiology kicks in to protect us.Continue reading “F-E-A-R”
One common theme that came from the table was the fact that these people had everything in their life together. They were smart, good at their jobs, could solve the most sophisticated problems, yet they could not stop alcohol from taking charge of their lives. Wake ups are the same for everyone suffering. Waking up feeling half-dead, swearing that today will be different– yet evening rolls around and the urge is too strong– alcohol wins yet again.
What I want to say is: “I’m in recovery. I’m searching for a sponsor and an AA group to fit into. I struggle nearly Every. Single. Day. I listen to audiobooks and/or podcasts daily that are recovery based. I know relapse like the back of my hand. Remember Dylan McKay in the old 90210 episodes? Remember how his relapses went? Yep, that’s pretty realistic, and similar to me during an ugly relapse.”
Do you ever feel duped by alcohol? Throughout high school, we were all told to “just say no” to drugs but not much was ever said about alcohol. The reality is that only 1 in 10 people with an alcohol problem get treatment. The research shows that the number 1 most addictive drug is alcohol. It kills more people than all other drugs combined.
“Do you know what sounds nice? Some wine sounds really good right now. You wouldn’t be so tired. You would feel carefree and oh so wonderful.” Betsy persuaded.
Right now, I’m happy and content doing what I’m doing. I do not feel in any way, shape or form that I am “white knuckling” it.