Two Years, No Drinks

Two years ago was one of the most shameful days of my life. I won’t go into details, and they aren’t awful, as I was a ‘high bottom’ drunk. I’ve never had a DUI or anything like that. But I knew that I had to stop drinking once and for all. In these two years,Continue reading “Two Years, No Drinks”

My Greatest Teacher

For the first time in 7 years, I felt joy when I saw the date, February 13th. It was my late mom’s birthday. She died suddenly in 2014. Her birthday, just like her deathday, can be a sad and overwhelming time. I didn’t allow myself to feel guilty, for feeling joy, on this day, althoughContinue reading “My Greatest Teacher”

Day 676 – What’s in Your Garden?

“We don’t see things the way they are. We see things the way We are.” -Talmud I used to see the world through a different set of eyes, because of the way I was. I’ve changed, and so has the landscape I look at everyday. But it’s not the landscape that has changed. I usedContinue reading “Day 676 – What’s in Your Garden?”

Always Watching

My oldest kiddo is a huge Tetris fan. When one of the most well known champs passed away recently, he was in shock. He told me about a headline he saw, saying Jonas Neubauer has died, which he thought was a joke. Then he told me about his wife’s Twitter statement, confirming the awful news.Continue reading “Always Watching”

Day 653

I think of the years I spent, writing on here, about day 1 after day 1 after day 1. At times I felt like a sham, “Hi 👋🏻, me again, I F***ed up yet again.” Feeling like a sober imposter.

Christmas 2020

Christmas 2020 will always bring me cherished memories. It will be remembered as an anomaly, and not because of the pandemic. This is the year we left stress, negativity and drama behind. And it was amazing. The last two trips to Florida were in January and February and the weather was awful both times, soContinue reading “Christmas 2020”

Running

Everything is bothering me today, this week, this month, actually. I’m usually pretty upbeat & grateful, but my ego has my head exhausted. Maybe it’s being stuck in a dirty house with so many men. There is often tension between my hubby and my teenage nephew, who isn’t used to discipline and quite frankly, ITContinue reading “Running”

Day Counters

Day 625 The day counter became my nemesis in early recovery. I’ve reset that sucker too many times to count. I’ve tried abstaining without keeping track of days, because for awhile, I was too obsessed with the counter. During the first year, I played around with not using it at all. Eventually, I found itContinue reading “Day Counters”

Sole Purpose

24 Hours (March 2019: The last Day 1) Super ugly post warning. I don’t remember having a day feeling this low. I wasn’t going to drink last night, but I did. I woke up in a puddle of piss. I WET the f’ing bed! I can’t even tell you the amount of shame and guiltContinue reading “Sole Purpose”

When the Party’s Over: The Pitcher Plant Theory

Drinking in my 20’s was so much fun. At 22, I met my hubby at a small, rickety, hole-in-the-wall bar.  It wasn’t a place my friend and I went to find a husband, we even bet who could find the guy with the most teeth (we were in our 20’s and MEAN AF). I vaguelyContinue reading “When the Party’s Over: The Pitcher Plant Theory”