Day #537 I’m coming off the weekend feeling sad & exhausted, despite some personal feats. I became an ordained minister over the summer & on Saturday I married my childhood best friend and the boyfriend she met over 20 years ago. Let me start by saying what a mistake that was 🤦🏻♀️ I mean, itContinue reading “Friendships are Hard”
After working with and spending so much time with myself the past few years, I’ve really realized that I can be a tough nut to crack. I have this invisible shield that says to everyone and everything, “It’s FINE, all fine.” even when it’s not fine. I believe it’s a few things including my intrinsicContinue reading “False Life Stories”
This too shall pass. I feel like I’ve been saying this for weeks. My intention was to write a positive post tonight. After all, it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow and my boys and I are going to the Sasha Farm Sanctuary to learn about the cruelty of factory farms, to cuddle some farm animals and toContinue reading “This Too Shall Pass”
Today is Saturday and by all measures, I should be feeling so happy. The sun is FINALLY shining. I’m finally starting to shed the 10 pounds that I put on since the new year. I woke up early to make it to my favorite specialty stores before they got busy. I came home, put awayContinue reading “Here Comes the Sun”
This is what I wrote shortly after my last relapse 7/28/18: The good news is that after drinking several days this past week, I am so incredibly excited to get back on track. There is so much misery to active addiction– physically, mentally, spiritually. I miss the AF me! I cannot wait to get backContinue reading “Stuck in this Relapse”
Folks in recovery talk about the healing of the mind, body and spirit and how each is essential to overcome addiction and to live a happy life. I couldn’t agree more and usually do conscious and unconscious routines and rituals that support each of these areas. I realized that my mind, body and spirit were all in a state of negativity and distress– all three of them, and all at once.
For the longest time, I have been fighting this alone. Talking to people at meetings is great, but they aren’t there when I’m at home and a mental battle is going on in my head. It’s like I have two voices– me and then Betsy, my inner alcoholic voice. For the first time ever, I felt like it was US against Betsy– two against one. It was an uplifting and empowering realization.