Survivor Guilt

I came across this post yesterday, and it made me cry. I guess it hits hard because as I’m working on my vision board, I’m feeling so incredibly pumped for year 44. And I think of the people in my life who are still drinking regularly, and think, why have I found recovery, and theyContinue reading “Survivor Guilt”

How about some Self-Love for 2021?

Self love is the foundation of health. Without it, our lives can become unmanageable, and it can happen so gradually, we may not even realize it. It’s not always easy, and can feel really icky to take care of ourselves. But self-care makes up the blocks of that foundation. It can feel greedy when weContinue reading “How about some Self-Love for 2021?”

Teachers are Everywhere

WOAH this week got a little ugly. That last day that I wrote ended with me in a fetal position bawling on the shag rug next to the fireplace around midnight- way past my bedtime. My mood was much lighter the following day. I think much of this was hormonal, plus holiday stress. I amContinue reading “Teachers are Everywhere”

Ho’oponopono

Ho’oponopono is a magic prayer. I’m not very proud of my post from yesterday. It screams ‘Pity Party’. Before I wrote, I knew that I needed some gratitude practice. So before I even started, I jotted this down: It did help, along with writing my post. I cried during meditation yesterday and today. I thinkContinue reading “Ho’oponopono”

Running

Everything is bothering me today, this week, this month, actually. I’m usually pretty upbeat & grateful, but my ego has my head exhausted. Maybe it’s being stuck in a dirty house with so many men. There is often tension between my hubby and my teenage nephew, who isn’t used to discipline and quite frankly, ITContinue reading “Running”

Day Counters

Day 625 The day counter became my nemesis in early recovery. I’ve reset that sucker too many times to count. I’ve tried abstaining without keeping track of days, because for awhile, I was too obsessed with the counter. During the first year, I played around with not using it at all. Eventually, I found itContinue reading “Day Counters”

Deadsgiving

Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States. People all over will be cooking, eating, watching football, doing LOTS of drinking. Then the really crazy ones will wake up early tomorrow morning to get the good ‘Black Friday’ deals. I’m not exactly sure when I began to despise the holidays. Probably after a few yearsContinue reading “Deadsgiving”

Day 490 and ODAAT

As I predicted, my inner alcoholic voice, Betsy (DeVos), has been doing pushups while I’ve been working my soul off and has returned to torture my thoughts.  She’s not too bad yet, but this is how it starts.  She sees a vulnerability and jumps on it. My best friend is getting married in September andContinue reading “Day 490 and ODAAT”

Turn off the Chaos

It’s hard to go about this summer in a normal way when so much commotion is going on in the outside world. I was in a bad place mentally about a week ago and couldn’t stop thinking gloom and doom thoughts about the future, especially going back to work in the fall. This summer hasContinue reading “Turn off the Chaos”

Day 471 and Lessons of 2020

This has been the strangest summer ever, which isn’t surprising considering how weird and messed up 2020 has been.  I went to a psychic in November who gave me a heads up about 2020 being filled with lessons for me.  I was panicked, and would have felt better if I knew that 2020 would beContinue reading “Day 471 and Lessons of 2020”