I have a soft spot for lost cats. When I was around 5 years old, we took a trip up north to my grandparent’s cottage and brought our white cat, Bozo, with us. When it comes to pets & animal care, my young parents were not the brightest. Bozo was antsy by the time weContinue reading “Little Lost Soul”
I read a blog some time ago that has really been on my mind lately. It was about relapsing and going through the most difficult part of sobriety over and over and over again. I feel like this has been where I’m at since July (UGH, like a whole 1/2 year wasted.. makes me feelContinue reading “The Exhausting Addiction Cycle”
I bow to you, you made it.. WE made it!! PHEW!! Christmas for me, was actually really pretty nice (besides being overly tired from too little sleep the night before). We leisurely spent the morning enjoying our gifts and cleaning up. We walked to my in laws and had a delicious dinner (I can’t believeContinue reading “Namaste: Deep Breaths after the Holiday”
Day 15 today! Feeling good about being sober, but the rest of me might be falling apart. I’m supposed to take my Humira every 7-10 days. It’s been about 3 weeks since I took it. I thought I had a Parvo Virus that mimicked RA and that I could not take it and not beContinue reading “Christmas Eve Eve Morning”
I know I said this before, but I am just not feeling it this Christmas season! It’s days away and I’m barely prepared and don’t even care. I’ve felt extra sad this week about my mom not being here. She has been gone for over 4 years and I’ve been racking my brain trying toContinue reading “The Pain of Not Drinking”
Overall this has been my favorite summer so far. Besides that one small spell, I haven’t been in a funk and am in a good place physically, spiritually and mentally. Today is day 108 and if you would have told me a few years ago that I would have a summer of no drinking and it would be my happiest summer yet, I would have told you to shut the front door!
Tomorrow, Friday and the weekend will be good. HOT and sunny, I plan to bike ride, swim and read while floating in the pool. We are going up north next week to celebrate the 4th. It will be fun and festive and nice to hang out with my dad up there.
THIS is how I would like to feel: I can’t control what happens to me or my loved ones all the time. God has a plan and I don’t know what that entails, but know that he will help me get through the tough times— always. The next time I lose someone that I love, I can grieve without alcohol– or I can pick up the bottle again. Drinking will not make it better– in fact, it will just make everything so much harder. I know that during the toughest times of my life, God will help me make it through without picking up a drink, I trust him.
It is 4 years later and I still think about the epiphany occasionally. I find this house incredibly peaceful. Everytime I walk through the kitchen and see deer in the backyard– or on the deck watching the small animals and birds in the yard– I am at total peace. The house isn’t great– it is old and boxy and some of it is outdated. But it is a sprawling ranch on a good chunk of land and I completely love it here <3
Today is one of those bittersweet days. It’s a day that I wake up remembering that I am missing my mom, but also feel grateful for my kids and family that is still here.