Day 21

It feels so good to keep the momentum going!  It’s been a tiring but great few weeks.  I’m not exactly riding the pink cloud, as they say, but I am enjoying NOT thinking about drinking every second of every day.  I barely even think of it at all.  Once in awhile the thought will runContinue reading “Day 21”

Magnificent Monday

A Monday without work is a magnificent Monday indeed! And, sadly, it’s going to come to an end pretty soon. That’s quite ok. Friday is Good Friday, so it’ll be a nice 3 day work week. This past weekend has been just excellent. Friday night was pretty lazy and I was out cold by 10:30pm.Continue reading “Magnificent Monday”

Hooray for Friday, Longest Week Ever

This has been an excruciating LONG week. Coming back from Spring Break is never a treat, especially since we started giving students the state assessment beginning the week after break. The state assessment is the devil. It does not seem to align much with the curriculum we are supposed to be teaching (thank you CommonContinue reading “Hooray for Friday, Longest Week Ever”

24 Hours

It’s been a busy couple of days. I drank once since the last time I wrote and I believe it’ll be the last. I was SO filled with guilt and shame the next day, it still makes me cry. This is what I posted in my sober circle that sums it up: Super ugly postContinue reading “24 Hours”

The Devil Inside

I’ve been thinking a lot about my thinking. I’ve been researching also and have read some really great books about our powerful mind– and that pesky voice– you know, the one I call Betsy. I’ve been noticing things that intrigue me, and wondering. Why am I so depressed when I’m not sober? Is it becauseContinue reading “The Devil Inside”

My WHY

My kids My hubby My extended family My health (mental, emotional, physical) My students To remember going to bed and what I said To be productive at work To wake up clear headed and energized To sleep well To pursue my hobbies and create new ones To be able to exercise and push myself harderContinue reading “My WHY”

Diabetes Fun

I am not always proud of my parenting skills– I think that is normal and to be expected. Sometimes I lose my temper, or don’t follow through with things.. But I am doing the best that I can and at the end of the day my boys know that they are loved. Having a childContinue reading “Diabetes Fun”

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was gross, like all of it, just ick. It wasn’t what happened, so much, it was more how I felt and dealing with those feelings. Not long ago, you see, those same exact feelings would have me reaching for external comfort– food, liquor, wine, pot… any of it would do. So.. when what startedContinue reading “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”

White Feathers, Signs, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde and Suicide

Come to think of it, why did I even think my coat was stuffed with feathers?  I knew that it can be a sign, but I haven’t looked it up recently, so, right now, as I’m writing this I decided to look it up.  The very first thing that popped up and was highlighted was exactly what I was looking for.  And the date it was posted happened to be on my mom’s death day.  

In the Devil’s Grip

Ahhhhh…. remember the good old days, with longer stretches of sobriety– and me loving getting in some extra exercise on my glorious and beloved sober weekend? Either do it.  It seems like a lifetime ago. This weekend I was particularly brutal to myself.  We had to watch our niece Friday night and I was horrifiedContinue reading “In the Devil’s Grip”