Day 653

I think of the years I spent, writing on here, about day 1 after day 1 after day 1. At times I felt like a sham, “Hi , me again, I F***ed up yet again.” Feeling like a sober imposter.

Survivor Guilt

Advertisements I came across this post yesterday, and it made me cry. I guess it hits hard because as I’m working on my vision board, I’m feeling so incredibly pumped for year 44. And I think of the people in my life who are still drinking regularly, and think, why have I found recovery, andContinue reading “Survivor Guilt”

No Vision Board

Advertisements I’ve been working on this vision board for two days and I’m stumped. I’m afraid it’s going to look exactly like my last one, with lots of fresh food and workout pictures, plus writing successes. I want to be specific. I don’t want to be too specific. I may be afraid of commitment. WhatContinue reading “No Vision Board”

How about some Self-Love for 2021?

Advertisements Self love is the foundation of health. Without it, our lives can become unmanageable, and it can happen so gradually, we may not even realize it. It’s not always easy, and can feel really icky to take care of ourselves. But self-care makes up the blocks of that foundation. It can feel greedy whenContinue reading “How about some Self-Love for 2021?”

Teachers are Everywhere

Advertisements WOAH this week got a little ugly. That last day that I wrote ended with me in a fetal position bawling on the shag rug next to the fireplace around midnight- way past my bedtime. My mood was much lighter the following day. I think much of this was hormonal, plus holiday stress. IContinue reading “Teachers are Everywhere”

Ho’oponopono

Advertisements Ho’oponopono is a magic prayer. I’m not very proud of my post from yesterday. It screams ‘Pity Party’. Before I wrote, I knew that I needed some gratitude practice. So before I even started, I jotted this down: It did help, along with writing my post. I cried during meditation yesterday and today. IContinue reading “Ho’oponopono”

Running

Advertisements Everything is bothering me today, this week, this month, actually. I’m usually pretty upbeat & grateful, but my ego has my head exhausted. Maybe it’s being stuck in a dirty house with so many men. There is often tension between my hubby and my teenage nephew, who isn’t used to discipline and quite frankly,Continue reading “Running”

Day Counters

Advertisements Day 625 The day counter became my nemesis in early recovery. I’ve reset that sucker too many times to count. I’ve tried abstaining without keeping track of days, because for awhile, I was too obsessed with the counter. During the first year, I played around with not using it at all. Eventually, I foundContinue reading “Day Counters”

We Do Recover

Advertisements Day #619- Really it took something like 1300 days to get here, but who’s counting? I’m reminiscing today. Back in 2016 or 2017 I was having a conversation with a colleague at the Keurig machine one early morning. I was in a sad state. Hungover, head pounding, puffy face and eyes and not sureContinue reading “We Do Recover”

Day 612 and the Ancy Ego

Advertisements I feel like I grew a little this Thanksgiving holiday. I’m more focused on what I need to feel peaceful and honoring that. In the past I was too compliant and felt way too bad skipping a holiday. Have I become selfish? Having a trip planned for Christians has been the best therapy forContinue reading “Day 612 and the Ancy Ego”