Day Counters

Day 625 The day counter became my nemesis in early recovery. I’ve reset that sucker too many times to count. I’ve tried abstaining without keeping track of days, because for awhile, I was too obsessed with the counter. During the first year, I played around with not using it at all. Eventually, I found itContinue reading “Day Counters”

We Do Recover

Day #619- Really it took something like 1300 days to get here, but who’s counting? I’m reminiscing today. Back in 2016 or 2017 I was having a conversation with a colleague at the Keurig machine one early morning. I was in a sad state. Hungover, head pounding, puffy face and eyes and not sure thatContinue reading “We Do Recover”

Day 612 and the Ancy Ego

I feel like I grew a little this Thanksgiving holiday. I’m more focused on what I need to feel peaceful and honoring that. In the past I was too compliant and felt way too bad skipping a holiday. Have I become selfish? Having a trip planned for Christians has been the best therapy for theContinue reading “Day 612 and the Ancy Ego”

Deadsgiving

Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States. People all over will be cooking, eating, watching football, doing LOTS of drinking. Then the really crazy ones will wake up early tomorrow morning to get the good ‘Black Friday’ deals. I’m not exactly sure when I began to despise the holidays. Probably after a few yearsContinue reading “Deadsgiving”

When the Party’s Over: The Pitcher Plant Theory

Drinking in my 20’s was so much fun. At 22, I met my hubby at a small, rickety, hole-in-the-wall bar.  It wasn’t a place my friend and I went to find a husband, we even bet who could find the guy with the most teeth (we were in our 20’s and MEAN AF). I vaguelyContinue reading “When the Party’s Over: The Pitcher Plant Theory”

Day 591: Life’s a Beautiful Disaster

I realized that without knowing about the ego and the awful voice it has, I’m certain my writing would have never gotten this far. All summer long, that voice was like, This story is stupid. You’re wasting your time. No one will ever read this. You should stop now. 

Monkey Mind is my Super Power

What if our most despised attribute can serve us? I suppose it started with a seed, planted by the world renowned functional doctor, Dr. Tent. Before him, I wasn’t aware of any ‘problem’. When trying to figure out why my body was attacking itself, I admitted that I was an alcoholic. Dr. Tent then wentContinue reading “Monkey Mind is my Super Power”

Dead Birds

For the longest time, I haven’t been the biggest fan of birds. I think it started when I was a teenager working at the vet clinic. We had an avian doctor and I hated, repeat hated working with the birds. They were so delicate, you could crush them with the wrong move of your finger,Continue reading “Dead Birds”

Day #520- The F*** It’s

I have a MAJOR case of the “F*** It” today. I’ve felt like a pressure cooker from the moment I picked up my phone today (mental note to not do that again). My mood was exasperated by darkness and pouring rain, a leaky basement that we keep throwing money at with no success, and aContinue reading “Day #520- The F*** It’s”

Day 490 and ODAAT

As I predicted, my inner alcoholic voice, Betsy (DeVos), has been doing pushups while I’ve been working my soul off and has returned to torture my thoughts.  She’s not too bad yet, but this is how it starts.  She sees a vulnerability and jumps on it. My best friend is getting married in September andContinue reading “Day 490 and ODAAT”