Namago: The ego in me…

I’m coining a new term, namago. To me, it means: The ego in me recognizes the ego in you. A common translation for namaste is: the light in me, recognizes the light in you. You see, I’m learning how to handle my emotions, and to keep my cool, but sometimes I lose it. I usedContinue reading “Namago: The ego in me…”

Day 844 – I Can Self-Soothe

Last Saturday got interesting after my I posted about my kiddo. I was taking care of him and thinking that he should be at a hospital, well I got my wish, I guess. Sometime after I wrote, he started to run a fever and it began to rise fast. He was too painful to moveContinue reading “Day 844 – I Can Self-Soothe”

Can’t Touch This

Every now and again the Universe forces me to slow way down. This is one of those times. My oldest has had a painful cyst all week that has slowly gotten more debilitating. It’s not a common thing, so we didn’t get proper care to begin with. It started about 11 days ago. I tookContinue reading “Can’t Touch This”

Powerless

Am I powerless? As a whole person, I believe that’s a hard no. However, when it comes to alcohol, I bow down to it. Its seductive grip has stolen years. It’s sneaky too. It’ll creep right up on you and then gaslight you when you try to back away. It’ll get into every cell inContinue reading “Powerless”

July 3rd

I always loved the fourth of July, as our family usually always spends it up north, with friends and family and near sun and water. But back in 2014, my mom suddenly died on July 3rd. The day she died should have been the day she met us at the cabin. Instead, my family quicklyContinue reading “July 3rd”

Letting Go of a Toxic Friend

January 2021 Drinking: First you take a drink. Then the drink takes a drink. Then the drink takes you. https://thedevildrinksvodka.com/tag/soberliving-soberlife/ Drinking: One is too many and one thousand isn’t enough. Once you take the first one, it takes over. At this point, I’m legitimately terrified of taking a drink and hope that I always feelContinue reading “Letting Go of a Toxic Friend”

Big Bertha

I’ve neglected our yard for years. Not exaggerating- years.  One giant bush, in particular, has been looking really hideous. I spent all of summer 2020, and maybe even 2019, looking at the dead vines and branches covering it, and thinking that I need to cleaning it up. Well, in late May, I saw a differentContinue reading “Big Bertha”

Counting Days

Day 817 Humans like to count and measure. At what point does it stop serving its purpose? Who cares what day it is, we’re all just a sip away- it truly doesn’t matter, does it? The Recovery Elevator app is full of measuring tools. Mine currently says that I’ve gained over 1,000 productivity hours andContinue reading “Counting Days”

Eight Hundred Days

It’s been 800 days since my last alcoholic beverage. Do I think about drinking a lot?  Nope, not really. Occasionally I crave a drinking session with hubby or a friend, where we laugh way too loud at meaningless things and wake up feeling horribly, not just physically- but mentally and emotionally too. The last partContinue reading “Eight Hundred Days”

Ego and Resistance, the Defiant Duo

Day #798        Wednesday, June 2, 2021 My mission in life has become to do whatever I need to do in order to stay in a state of happiness. Everytime I think I’ve cracked the code, my mind laughs at me. Since returning to work and dealing with typical work stress like traffic,Continue reading “Ego and Resistance, the Defiant Duo”