The Four Agreements, Rule 1: Be Impeccable with your Word

I’m on the upswing of a minor funk, I can feel it.  I think getting out of my comfort zone by going to scout camp and then anxiously waiting for my little’s return kind of put me into a tailspin.

It’s Monday and I’m trying to plan my week so that I can be productive, happy and fulfilled.  I have my 3rd step meeting with Arlina on Thursday, so I have to do some step 3 reading and worksheet.   I also want to get out and walk today (it’s been forever).  Jules has been getting really sluggish on walks, so until we figure out what’s going on with his health, I need to find an inside workout regimen to stick to.  That or riding my bike– but I bought an ankle brace and now my foot is doing SO much better so I want to start running again– might be time to dust off my treadmill.  I also want to get back to the Lotus and the Lilly 30 day soul book, which I started way back in March.   SO much to do & all fun stuff too!!  OH and I need to go to a meeting.  I’m planning on going today and maybe 1 or 2 other days this week (they are conveniently every week day at noon and like a mile down the road– it doesn’t get any easier than that).

 

The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz 

Image result for the four agreements

I call the Four Agreements my life’s bible.  I strongly believe that the four simple principals promoted in the book can be used and applied to any situation.  This book has helped my anxiety with relating to others immensely and I want to write about my experience with applying the principals.

The first rule of this book is to be impeccable with your word.

While this seems fairly straight forward it takes on many subtle and profound aspects as you begin to practice. Very simply to be impeccable with your Word is to use your Word in the direction of love and truth. It’s not as simple as it sounds.

How we apply this agreement in practice can be complicated. For instance, suppose we have a good friend and are friends with their spouse as well. We’ve found out that the spouse is cheating on our friend. It is in the direction of truth to tell our friend that their partner is cheating on them. On the other hand delivering the message and facts is not very kind and loving and will hurt their feelings. It also might not be considered very respectful to inject our nose into the business of other people’s relationship. In these critical situations being impeccable with your word can appear to go either way.

You can create how you feel emotionally by generating emotions, and then you feel them. You can create dynamics of respect in relationship by being silent and listening attentively. You can create a different experience for your self and others by refraining from an emotional reaction. You create an income for your self by how well you express caring in the activity of your work. You create a different self image of your self by putting the power of your faith in a thought you have about your self. This can happen in a very subtle and almost passive way of just accepting what you think about your self as true.

You express in a multitude of ways through out the day and being impeccable with your Word applies to all of them.

Silence can be Impeccable

Silence is an expression. And sometimes silence and refrain says a lot more than words can. Your actions are a part of how you create. To hit someone doesn’t fall into the category of expressing your self in the direction of love and truth. To greet someone with a kiss on the cheek is an expression that says more than a thousand words can.

Your Fears go against your Self

To live with existing fears in your mind doesn’t fall into the category of being impeccable. Maintaining fears of public speaking, asking someone out on a date, or a fear of failing is not in the direction of love for your self. Keeping your self in fear is an ongoing expression in your own mind that causes you to hold back in your actions of love for your self and others. Fear is at the heart of NOT being impeccable.

To Be Impeccable with Your Word is not as simple as it sounds. When you explore the meaning of this agreement your understanding will expand. You will begin to pay attention to the smaller moments of the day. Thoughts that used to go unnoticed or passing comments that seemed to be no big deal before become significant. As you become aware of the subtle expressions of the day this agreement becomes more challenging than one originally thought.

To really master being impeccable will require that you heighten your awareness not just to the words you say, but also to the emotions you express, your attitude, your actions, and where you express the power of your belief. You will need to develop a discipline of mindfulness to be impeccable in these expressions through out the day.

To Be Impeccable with Your Word is an art requiring constant vigilance. It is not something that you can decide to do one day and master by the end of the week. The mastery of any art, like music, painting, or sculpture, requires practice. To master the way you express your emotions, actions, thoughts, beliefs, will take practice just like any other art. In the beginning it will be challenging to just learn the basic skills.

You too will let go of what you created in your life years ago, and work on bigger and better creations as you develop. Each day is an opportunity to create a new piece of art with your life. Last years art is already far behind you. Learn, grow, and develop your skills through your creations, but don’t let them define you as an artist.

When you apply the practice of doing your best to be impeccable you discover that it has incredible rewards. To express your self in the direction of truth and love allows you to create your life as a masterpiece of beauty.

To master being impeccable with your word will take many moments of practice. You will likely throw away many of your attempts as being clumsy and not what you want. But that is okay. For with each action and attempt, you improve as the artist of your life.

Be careful not to believe the judgments that are likely to come from that inner judge. Make a commitment to do your best everyday and it will help you avoid self judgments as you practice and improve. Remember that in the midst of all these expressions that the real art you are working on is your self and you are worth taking time for.


 

A few weeks ago, one of the teachers at my school came into my room to complain, she was visibly upset.  Our secretary, and older, very outspoken and sometimes downright rude individual, had bad mouthed her to another staff member.  One of the things that was so upsetting was that she was about to retire and had tried to make every aspect of this school year a positive “last” but this was a painful memory that she would remember for a long time and would cast a shadow on her retirement.

She basically came into my room to vent, because sometimes you just need a listening ear.  So I listened and sympathized.  This book came up in our conversation, as I knew this teacher has read it and so has our secretary.  The teacher told me that she was going to talk to her about what she said and how it affects the morale of the staff.  I suggested she recommends this book to her (athough I know she HAS read it– but isn’t applying the rules to herself..).

Sometimes when you are talking to someone who you are really close to, it’s easy to talk and (sometimes) giggle at other people.  I question myself ALL THE TIME.  The bonus is that most people that I’m close to has read this book, so they all know what I’m talking about when I start to scrutinize our actions (Are we being gossipy?  Am I being impeccable with my word?)   It most always promotes positive and productive conversations– and allows us to establish norms that are not going to spread poison.  In most cases the person and I either agree that, “Yes, we are being rude and judgy and it’s not helping anything so we need to stop” or “No, if he was here with us he would be laughing too, so we are laughing with him, it is ok.”

One last thing I want to say about being impeccable with your word.  I don’t (can’t) trust people who spend time talking about others behind their back.  It is Not. A. Good. Look.  If you’re talking about X, Y or Z behind their back, then I’m SURE you’re talking about ME behind my back.  Perfect example of this is my school secretary.  After you read this blog, you are going to think that she’s absolutely dreadful.  That is not the case, but she is a gossip.  Not in a mean way, more like a lovingly grandmotherly type of way.  BUT, while I love her, I generally keep my distance because I know that whatever I tell her is likely to come out, possibly in a distorted way.

I hope that you enjoyed reading about the first principal of The Four Agreements.

Summer Vacation and Scout Camp

Day 86 🙂

It’s Friday of the first week of summer break– although I don’t feel very well rested or accomplished.

My youngest is at his first year at Scout Camp.  I went up there on Monday and came home Wednesday night.  I. Was. Exhausted.  They really run the kids ragged.  I talked to him on the phone last night and while he’s having fun, he is SO ready to come home.  He’ll get home tomorrow around noon and I think he might sleep for two days.

It was a fun time and I got to get to know some of the adults and kids from the troop better.  It was sad going up to the camp, knowing that I was staying with a new group (I’d previously been to the camp with my oldest’s group), but it turned out well as I feel like I made some friends.  Will tried new things too, like climbing the rock wall.  He didn’t make it to the top to zip line down, but I’m super proud of him for trying.  He attended his classes, swam like crazy during free swim, played all of the travel games he brought and learned some new games.

Other than that, status quo here.  Took Jules in early this morning for his big (Cushins ) test.  I have to take him back at 11:15 and then again at 3:15 then wait for the results which will hopefully be in next week.  It’s the first sunny and hot day we’ve had in awhile.  I have some weeding and planting to and am looking forward to working in the hot sunshine.  Then maybe a dinner date with my oldest who has been surviving on frozen food all week.  It’s going to be a great day!

One last thing I do want to mention is that Betsy has been loud and persistent lately.  It’s early summer and I’ve been doing so good, I really don’t want another summer relapse.  She tries to make drinking seem so appealing, and it does sound nice at times.  I would love to have a few glasses of wine on the deck in the evening sun.  But all I have to do is follow the drink.  It would be fun.  But, I would wake up full of regrets.  I would have to turn my counter back, meaning, if I’m going to turn it back, I might as well drink tonight too.  It wouldn’t end there.  I would be back in that cycle as fast as lightning.  Getting out of that cycle gets harder and harder (I don’t know why this is, but it’s true for me and I’ve heard other people say the same thing).  I’m not sure that I have another recovery in me.  

With Betsy getting louder, I think it’s time to get my butt to some meetings.  I AM working the steps too.  As a side note, here is the step 1 work I did with Arlina on ODAAT Chat:

Step Work Call – Laura – Step 1

I hope you all have a great weekend!

 

 

Pangs of Jealousy

I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I’ve written.  It’s been a crazy busy couple of weeks!  The weather is finally getting nice– I was surprised when walking out of work today that it was sunny and 80.  We’ve been adding water to the pool all week and tonight I think Anthony is going to hook up all of the hoses and filters– ALMOST pool time!!

Pool
It’s hard to believe that this pool will look inviting by the weekend!

Life is still pretty crazy all around.  Some of my close family members are fighting.  I offer support but try to avoid feeding into the negativity and try to make the rational ones see that the other’s are being irrational and to step away.  Most of them drink a lot and it’s hard sometimes when I’m talking to them over the phone and they are slurring their words.  Mostly I am just sad for them– but slightly envious of their escape route.  Not that envious though– as my life is really pretty great right now– mostly because I am strong and sober.

My puppy turned 5 yesterday.  It’s been a bittersweet week with him.  I had some blood work done last week as he’s been drinking a lot of water.  His liver is showing a problem so I had to catch and drop off a urine because they think he might have Cushing’s Disease.  Naturally, his urine showed that he might have it– so they have to do another test.  Internet research on this is scary.  It can be treated but the meds can make them very ill.  Meanwhile I have this little voice in my head that says that he is not going to live a long life and that his time with me was meant to be short.  I got him right after my mom died– all to help me through those dark days.  He and I have a very special bond and I am not nearly ready to lose him– yet I know I never will be even if he lives to 20.  Like everything else, one day at a time.

Happier topics– today is day 57.  Sobriety has always treated me well, but I’m especially loving it this time around.  It makes me sad to read so many posts on the internet about stress about not drinking this holiday weekend, at summer BBQ’s,  the beach, the summer. It’s all still not only great–but so much better without the toxic shit!  NOW, I understand that I have the best set of circumstances possible.  For one, I’m older than dirt.  When I say (and I say this all the time) that I’ve had a lifetime’s allowance of alcohol already, this is no exaggeration.  I may have had a couple of lifetime’s allotment, in all actuality.

For another thing, I am not routinely around drinkers.  Except maybe when we’re up at the cottage with my sister.  She drinks wine every night- but I was ok last year not partaking and enjoyed waking up bright and not hungover.  And I’ll be ok this year.  So I can appreciate that it might not be so easy– if you’re young or around drinking a lot– but sobriety still wins– hands down.

LaCroix coconut sparkling water in a wine glass feels like a special treat
Sparkling water in a wine glass is the perfect summer treat

I’m feeling confident that I am DONE with the toxic shit.  Waking up in a puddle of piss on a Thursday morning gave me enough shame to last a lifetime.  I NEVER want to put myself in the cycle again and risk being that out of it.

Snack
Took a break from blogging to help my little one eat a snack– yum! 

Another exciting thing is something I volunteered for.  I listen to a podcast called ODAAT Chat and the woman who produces it is so upbeat and great.  She asked for volunteers to work the steps and share out on her show.  I’m so happy to share that I got picked!  I’ve been meaning to work the steps for awhile now (It’s actually on my 2019 bucket list), so this will help move my butt into gear.  I am super excited and think that this could be a great opportunity for me to strengthen my sobriety even more.

Occasionally I have pangs of jealousy for normal drinkers.  Twice at work today, friends talked casually about having a glass of wine with friends on the patio– or going home and having a cold “blended” drink because she was on a field trip all day and totally hot and exhausted.

What I need to remind myself is that, these friends are normal drinkers.  One glass of wine on the patio has zero appeal to me.  I know that my drinking will never stop at one.  At least not without me being totally miserable.

That’s all I’ve got.  Life is good.  I love this time of year SO much.  I am so grateful for this life and my measly but hugely significant 57 days ❤

Weeding
Paying these goofballs to take care of this jungle I’ve been stressing over

 

Good Vibrations

I’ve been stuck in this low frequency/low vibration funk.   My family and I headed out to an animal sanctuary today, and on the long ride there I was able to raise my vibrations a bit.  I tried to think of everything possible to be grateful for, including the beautiful forest of trees we were passing and the ominous looking clouds that were producing rain necessary for life on earth.   Other than that, the ride was solemn.  We all had low vibrations and the cold rainy weather wasn’t helping.

The time we spent at the farm helped us all.  We were nudged and licked by pigs and cows and walked the large pastures filled with sheep and goats.  It was wonderful and I’m glad we made the trip– it was well worth it even with weather being as crappy as it was.

 

My kids learned even more about the cruelty of the animal industry.  They learned that dairy cows have their babies taken away right after they are born and cry for them for days.  They also learned that you can get in trouble for reporting abuse on factory farms (whistle blower law), but not for conducting the abuse.

I’m not writing this to convince anyone of anything.   My youngest eats mostly vegetarian or vegan, but my oldest does not.  He is a type 1 Diabetic and can eat meat and cheese without injecting himself with insulin–they are considered “free” snacks and I wouldn’t take that away from him.  Each person has their own journey, struggles, etc.  For me, avoiding animal products makes my heart happy.

Back to my low vibrations.  It’s a cycle and I can’t get out.  Oddly, it’s not unlike the dang drinking cycle I was stuck in for so many times over and over and over again!  I keep sending out low vibes and they keep coming right back to me!

BUT, I have a plan!  Getting your body moving is supposed to help raise your frequency, and I haven’t had the motivation or energy to work out for days (admittingly this fact is contributing to the cycle).

Tomorrow at 5am there’s 70% chance of rain.  I’m going to dress warm and go run in it.  Then I’m going to make fresh juice.  At work, I’m going to be mega productive.  I have 6 IEPs to piece together and run all within the next 8 days.  One is done, and two are started.  I’m going to work on them all simultaneously in phases.  This works well for my productivity and I’m going to be able to focus like a laser this week.

Quite honestly, having this plan alone is raising my frequency.  Also, if there’s any good in this, I consider it a bit of a stress test and haven’t entertained the thought of drinking whatsoever.  I know now that drinking is one sure fire way to SINK my vibrations– oh heck no I can’t handle them getting any lower!

So thank you, for listening.  Writing this helped.  Happy Day 46 ❤

For more information on SASHA Farm, visit:

https://www.sashafarm.org/

 

This Too Shall Pass

This too shall pass. 

I feel like I’ve been saying this for weeks.

My intention was to write a positive post tonight.  After all, it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow and my boys and I are going to the Sasha Farm Sanctuary to learn about the cruelty of factory farms, to cuddle some farm animals and to eat some yummy vegan food.

It’s been a really gross week.

My sister has been going through turbulent times with her boyfriend, who is also the father of her 5 year old daughter.  He did something no one could have predicted and completely snapped Tuesday night.  While my sister and niece were sleeping he set the house on fire.  The fire alarms were turned off, but somehow my sister woke up and navigated her and my niece out through the smoke.

I really liked him.  I am so sad for my sister and niece, who will likely never see her father again.  And we are mourning the loss of him– because no matter what he can and will never be a part of the family again.

So I’ve been feeling in a funk since.  And the weather here totally sucks– cold and rainy, nearly every single day.  And work has been stressful– with testing and teachers stressed because I can’t do all of the things I normally do- all due to these USELESS state mandated tests.  They are completely inappropriate for our students and so incredibly time consuming for everyone.

I started to feel positive this evening when I declared to my beef wanting nachos teenager, “I can’t buy beef.”  I used to cook us separate meals (me vegetarian, them with real meat), but recently told them I was no longer cooking meat– but they are welcome to cook it.   After digging deeper into veganism, I realize that everytime I buy meat, eggs or dairy, I am supporting a very cruel industry.  I. Just. Can’t.  I put in a grocery order tonight, but I told my family, “You are welcome to buy and cook meat, but I can’t support that.”

My positivity was drained quickly when hubby came in from mowing the lawn.  He has been upset at our new neighbors for mowing part of our yard and not on the lot line.  I think he said something to him before, but he continues to cut on our side.  Well, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation tonight and I feel like he just waged war on our next door neighbors.  I can’t tell you how icky this makes me feel inside!  And kind of irritated with hubby– WHY does he have to create such a conflict?  UGH– I just feel so gross about it.  I want to write them a peace letter.  I also want them to stay on their side.

It’s Saturday night, and I wish I could feel the joy of having a free night with a day to sleep in tomorrow and exciting fun day to look forward.  All this darkness is casting a shadow on all the good things.  My vibrations right now are so low, I know this will only cause low vibrations to come back to me and cause more friction.

I’m trying to just breathe, because this too shall pass.

mdesigner125-weather-the-storm-GettyImages-811485572

 

Evil Dr. Google

Day 40 – It was a long Monday, filled with testing and feeling exhausted.  I’m not sure why I’m so fatigued– I’ve been eating a lot cleaner maybe my body is detoxing– or maybe it’s something else.

I hate hate hate Dr. Google right now.  I spent a good part of my Sunday being overjoyed at the results of my recent blood work.  I’ve been eating vegetarian for many weeks now and now am eating mostly vegan.

I read books and have gone to lectures that promote a plant based diet for good health.  While I believe all of that, there’s always a small voice inside me that questions it.  ONLY because I have an autoimmune disease and many people find success with controlling it with things like a paleo (meat) diet, a diet heavy in organ meats (YUCK) and bone broth.  So naturally, while my mind and conscious feel better eating this way, there’s always the question, “Am I making my condition worse?”

Well, number one:  My bloodwork showed my Uric Acid is slightly on the high side.  This would support Dr. Tent’s diagnosis of Gout.  It makes sense that crystals form and move around in my feet–probably why my pain moves around.  So I looked up how to lower your Uric Acid and it said to avoid the following foods:

IMG_4490 (1).JPG

Well look at that!  I don’t eat ANY of those, hooray!!!!

Secondly, my B12 levels are HIGH.  Mine are 1751, and normal is 200-900.  B12 is something you need to worry about when not consuming animals, so this was nice to see.

I took this as a sign from the Universe that I was on the right path and all is well.  It provided me an immense amount of comfort, as I said before that little voice was always questioning this way of eating.  And another great thing, is that after recently putting on almost 10 pounds, in the past couple weeks that I’ve been eating cleaner and running harder, I lost almost all of that.  I was SO excited about my health.

Enter, Dr. Google….

Mid morning today, I decided to see what to do/what it means when you have a high B12 level.

I did not get the answer I expected.   Liver damage, kidney damage, leukemia and a few other weird (but fatal) diseases could cause your B12 level to be high.

Say What?????

Well, all my chemistries (BUN, CREATINE, ETC) were normal, so I’m assuming my kidneys and liver is ok.

So, it’s official.  I am dying.  My fatigue and weight loss make sense now.

I mean, I’m a little comforted by the fact that when my rhuemy called me to give me results she said all was fine except low iron stores and slight anemia (I sometimes need iron infusions).  So SHE wasn’t alarmed.  But, I don’t trust her to pick up on things.  Like she knows I have horrible pain in my feet, you think she would have seen my Uric Acid and told me to try to lower it with my diet.

So..  I printed all of my results after work and emailed them to my hematologist (who manages my iron/anemia) and stated that I was concerned about the high B12.

And so I wait.  And worry.

I hate you Dr. Google!

—————————————————UPDATE————————————————–

It looks as though I might not be dying after all! Spoke with the nurse at the hematologist’s office.   They are not concerned with the B12 level.  I will stop my supplement and get 2 iron infusions one week apart.  My appointment with the hematologist will be a month after my last iron infusion and she will check my B12 levels.  She did not see any reason to be concerned though.  Furthermore, I read that low B2 can cause the B12 levels to be high.  I have several symptoms of low B2, so I’m going to try to eat more B2 rich foods.   That is all!!!  I didn’t want anyone to lose sleep over my predicament 😛

Image result for dr google

 

Here Comes the Sun

Today is Saturday and by all measures, I should be feeling so happy.

The sun is FINALLY shining.

I’m finally starting to shed the 10 pounds that I put on since the new year.

I woke up early to make it to my favorite specialty stores before they got busy.  I came home, put away and organized my new things and cleaned up the kitchen.  Then I juiced a bunch of veggies.  And all by 11 am.

My boys are all leaving later to go to a racetrack with scouts.  I have plans with my puppy to walk/run on the trails by the river.  Then… I don’t even know.  Massage?  Finally get my nails done?  Play with my cricut?  Haircut (long overdue)?  Work on some IEPs for work (nahhhhh)..

But I woke up feeling just SAD.  The sad thoughts won’t leave my mind.

I’m sad about my 5th grade students who will soon be off to the middle school.  They are SUCH a great group of kiddos.  They might get into fights with each other on recess and before school, but for me, the are absolutely angelic.   So much so, that when my principal asks if he can observe me 5 minutes before seeing their group, I know I have no worries.  The lesson is seamless, the kids are engaged and all wanting to read or answer my question.  It’s not like this with every group.  Last year, I had three boys and while they were nice kids, I just didn’t have a strong bond.  This group is different, maybe because 4 out of 5 are girls– I don’t know.

I’m sad about my nephew who has a tough life.  He usually has a smile on his face and is  a pleasure to be around.  He lives with his grandparents behind us and I drop him off at school everyday along with my son.  Many Fridays, when I exclaim in the morning, “TGIF boys!!” he responds, “Oh, it’s Friday?”   I always thought this was odd.  HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW ITS FRIDAY BOY????   Well, DUH….  for kids with a hard homelife, the weekend can be downright brutal.  I should have put two and two together, and finally did yesterday morning.  How sad.  He’s a great kid.  I pray that he continues to do well despite a hard home life.  I pray that when he and I have deep conversations, I can convey the message that he can be happy and successful, and can be strong despite the hardships he’s endured and continues to face.  And I cry for him.

I’m so grateful that he lives so close and spends a lot of time at our house and can goes on all the scout trips with my boys.  I dread the day that his mom gets him back and moves away.  My heart will always ache for him.

And it’s been a sad couple of weeks at work.  A retired teacher lost her adult daughter last week suddenly.  A former student of ours (who was now a 9th grader) passed away on Tuesday.  The rain wouldn’t stop falling and lunchroom conversations were political and depressing.

I was hoping that writing all this out would help– but I still feel like I need a good cry.

I’m thinking of the happiest memories throughout my life.

That time in my teens when I was going through a turbulent relationship and I would escape to Indian Springs and rollerblade the 8-10 mile track.  That made me SO happy.

That time that hubby went on a shake diet and lost a bunch of weight and started to run with me.  It lasted all spring and summer, and boy he was FAST.  I could never keep up with him, but I still loved it when he accompanied me.   It was the summer my mom died, but still I think of that time and those memories of us out together was so happy.  Especially up in Tawas on the new trail by our cottage.

Last spring brings back happy memories of waking up at 5 am to walk/run before work and then going for an evening bike ride with hubby.   It felt SO good to be out and moving when the sun rose and again as it was setting.  I never felt so alive- and going to bed with my Garmin showing anywhere from 12-20 miles of this earth being covered was so rewarding.

Do you see a theme here?

I think I’ll feel better after being in nature today.  Until then, I’m going to feel all the feels.

It’s ok to feel sad.

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right

 

 

 

So Many Blessings

I am filled with so much gratitude after this weekend ❤ ❤ ❤   I’ve been studying the law of attraction for the past few weeks and think that there is a lot of truth to it.  I believe that the vibrations you send out attract like vibrations that come right back to you.

To top it off, I think I’ve started to experience the “Pink Cloud.”

In case you don’t know, the pink cloud in addiction is a term used to describe a curious phenomenon in one’s recovery odyssey. It means to be high on life. Many people after detox feel too good about their recovery as they’re finally able to see the real world.

In my car, driving in the sun, with the music blasting, all weekend…. permagrin— JUST joyous and happy feelings.

Friday night was lovely.  Hubby mowed while my oldest son and I went to grab dinner and snacks.  I got a delicious new drink and had a truly “happy” happy hour sipping it outside.  It’s the little things 🙂

pop

Saturday was even better.   We started it out with a friendly family game in the morning.  My youngest wanted to play (which is totally rare so we jumped at the opportunity).   Cards are always a fun way to start and end the day 🙂

skipbo

Next, a local business that I follow on Facebook shared that if you text SPRING to a number, you get a coupon for Lowes that is anywhere from $5-$500.  I tried it and got a $100 coupon!  We went later and had a lovely lunch date, then got a fire top for our table at Lowes.  It was $136 so we got it for $36.  SCORE!  After Lowes we hit a local Goodwill that I had never been to.  I spent quite a bit of time looking at books but really found some treasures (if I haven’t mentioned it before, I have a hard core book addiction..).

To top off this wonderful day, Jules and I went to my favorite park by the river and walk/ran 4 miles.  I ran a 15 minute mile which I haven’t done in like a year (I am a sloth).  It was wonderful to run through the trails and be with nature.  Gosh I love springtime!!

Sunday was a fabulous day too.  I had booked a complimentary mini facial at Aveda and makeup demo. The facial was awesome.  When it was time for the make up I told her I don’t wear much and like natural colors.  I wasn’t completely happy with the results, and thought I looked like a drag queen.  It was ok though, I had to use the restroom, but there was a few little boys using the women’s (I know this because they didn’t lock the door and I walked in on them– OOPS) so I used the mens. Sorry, but I couldn’t hold it for another second and now we can use whatever bathroom we want, plus I looked like a tranny anyways– so it was fine.  On a side note, when I got home and my boys saw me, they laughed.  It’s ok, I laughed too.

After Aveda, I went to Vegfest.  Vegfest is a vegan festival with vendors, lectures, speakers and food.  The last time I went, I went with my hubby.  I went alone today and it was nice to do what I want and not have to worry about anyone.  I bought some excellent books (most were only $5!) and met Alicia Silverstone.  I had a jackfruit sandwich that was to die for.  I’ve been strictly vegetarian (mostly vegan) for several weeks now and think I’m ready to take the plunge into sole veganism.

My book addiction was very well fed this weekend

After Vegfest I came home to some family over (brother in law, nephew, other sister and brother in law and niece).  It was nice, they played croquet while my SIL and I chatted by the fire top table and listened to music.  Also, it was supposed to snow like 3-4 inches last night (we were all dreading it) but it ended up just raining.  So, no snow today and it ended up being a warm sunny day that was such an unexpected treat.

Lastly, hubby and I went for a short bike ride.  We usually go around 10 miles and it’s like an hour workout.  We only went about 4, but it was so nice to get out there.  The perfect end to the perfect weekend!

So now it’s Sunday night almost 9:30 pm and I’m still wound up and reeling over all of the excitement.  I hope I can sleep at a decent hour, I really want to get up early to work out tomorrow.  Can’t think of a better way to start my Monday!

C’est la belle vie ❤ ❤ ❤

Day 21

It feels so good to keep the momentum going!  It’s been a tiring but great few weeks.  I’m not exactly riding the pink cloud, as they say, but I am enjoying NOT thinking about drinking every second of every day.  I barely even think of it at all.  Once in awhile the thought will run across my mind, “You could drink wine.”  I don’t THINK so, Betsy!  The last time I did that I woke up in a puddle of piss!! I spent the next day worrying about my husband leaving me and how I was going to clean all of my bedding, including the expensive giant heating pad I have for my mattress that was now covered in stinky piss!

So yeah, Betsy is and continues to be on probation.  I think she should actually get jail time.  She has no business trying to ruin my life all the time and making me think that I need to drink poison to have fun.  Conniving B**** !  I see right through her.

Nothing else really to write.  Today at work is a LONG day of testing (currently on my lunch).  I have a meeting after work and then it’ll just be me and my youngest tonight, as hubby and oldest have life guarding class.  They had to write a lesson plan for disabled swimming student for today.  Hubby’s student is missing his legs.  My teen’s student is missing his arms.  They are really pushing the accommodations practice 😛

This has been a short week, but an exhausting one!  Especially today, I woke up late and have been dragging my behind around ALL day long.  Just have to make it through tomorrow 🙂

Make it a great day everyone ❤

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Magnificent Monday

A Monday without work is a magnificent Monday indeed!

And, sadly, it’s going to come to an end pretty soon. That’s quite ok. Friday is Good Friday, so it’ll be a nice 3 day work week.

This past weekend has been just excellent. Friday night was pretty lazy and I was out cold by 10:30pm. I woke up around 4:00 am to let my dog out and then again to start the day around 7:30. I fed the animals and then ate some leftover quiche. I was still feeling really groggy, so I went to bed after stuffing my face and didn’t wake up until 11:30! This is a true pic of me at 11:30 just realizing that I’m about to be suffocated by a small house lion.

Have I mentioned how completely frickin’ awesome sober sleep is???

After getting up and drinking loads of coffee, I was finally ready to start the day. Nevermind that it was almost 3:00pm. It was nice weather and supposed to rain all day Sunday, so I HAD to spend some time outside. I went to Proud Lake to hike on the trails by the river. Jules and I walked 4 miles and fed our souls with lots of Vitamin D and happiness. Everyone we passed was friendly and chipper– I think we are all overly ecstatic for spring temps to get here for good! I mean, Saturday was nice but we did wake up to a dusting of snow on Sunday.

Sunday was nothing but LAZY. I was up by 8:00 am, but napped a couple of times throughout the afternoon. Hubby and our youngest were home from their camping trip by 9:00am. They were exhausted and had a lazy day right along with me.

Monday was a more productive day. I got up, showered and went to Trader Joes. I found some herbs at a killer deal so I decided to start a small herb garden inside. I went to Hobby Lobby and got an indoor planter. Then I used my cricut machine to add some decorative letters. My sister and kids kind of think it’s gross and that the “poo particles” will fertilize the plants, and that’s disgusting. And just a side note, I’ve heard the phrase “poo particles” WAY too much this past year! I say the herbs will be pure and will grow well and make the bathroom smell good– it’s a win win!

After my project, I walked the dog 2.5 miles and then started getting ready for tomorrow (fun, fun!).

What am I most excited about today? WHY, it’s day 19!!! I am feeling better and better mentally and spend WAY less time thinking about drinking than I did while drinking or just a few days sober. I know that it might get tough again soon. I seem to relapse a lot around the 3 week mark. I blame PAWS and also amnesia of how bad it really WAS while I was drinking. I still have the ‘piss bed’ fresh in my mind and the horrifying day that followed, so I’m hoping to ride on that wave all week. WELL, it wasn’t that awful, just my mind ridden with guilt and shame and feeling the lowest I’ve felt in a LONG time. I don’t want to go back here, ever again.

Wishing you all peace, love and happiness ❤ ❤ ❤