For the longest time, I have been fighting this alone. Talking to people at meetings is great, but they aren’t there when I’m at home and a mental battle is going on in my head. It’s like I have two voices– me and then Betsy, my inner alcoholic voice. For the first time ever, I felt like it was US against Betsy– two against one. It was an uplifting and empowering realization.
I am SO happy with our life. I love the life that we’ve built. We have terrific kids and I couldn’t ask for a more supportive spouse. This is the majorly confusing part for me. This one thing, this one little thing is the only thing that is making me unhappy. I should have control over it, but it seems to have complete control over me.