For awhile now, I’ve been obsessed, addicted to Facebook. I check it constantly. Many things that I see on there make me feel bad in one way or another. Whether it’s family who is having fun and not including me, or political rants, or just general whininess from people who are so negative, it was overwhelming to me.
The olive that was in the empty cup said to the other olive, “I’m going to stay in here, I’m all done drinking.” The olives then realized that the world was coming to an end and that they were going to die in separate cups. They looked at each other with such sad expressions, it was truly heart breaking.
Alcoholism is truly the thinking disease, and that has become so clear to me. My biggest nemesis is my alcoholic mind and she knows exactly what she is doing– and she is so good at it. But I was successful once and I can do it again, gosh darn it!
Here we go again. Even though I had a hard time sleeping last night, today was SO much better than it’s been all week. Had a decent amount of energy all day (even on little sleep), didn’t miss the hangover headache, focus was good at work & instead of being cranky & short fused myContinue reading “Day 2”
When you’re drinking, it’s kind of like your life is clouded with a dark shroud. The sun is less bright, jokes are less funny, semi stressful situations seem impossibly daunting and the list goes on.
My mom would always hug her grandkids and talk about how fast they’re growing. Aunt Sandy’s house was always full as well. Uncle Ed was always there to entertain the boys or talk to us about anything and everything. Grandma was always in her chair and always enjoyed watching the many guests, old and new, come and go.
Last year at this time I was in such a desperate place. Nothing was worse than drinking every single night and wanting to stop but not being able to. I didn’t know if I would have to go away to rehab, or maybe just die this way, lose my job, lose my family, everything was uncertain and my future was grim– especially not knowing what was going to become of me.
“Do you know what sounds nice? Some wine sounds really good right now. You wouldn’t be so tired. You would feel carefree and oh so wonderful.” Betsy persuaded.
Guys– I finally feel like I hit a milestone! MOST of the time my alcoholic voice (Betsy) is silent. BUT.. every week or two she tries to talk me into drinking and all summer long I have caved into her wishes. NOT tonight– although it was the perfect opportunity. My dad took my kids forContinue reading “Practice and Persistence Makes Progress”
Yeah, I know, you’ve always been there. For decades I’ve given you my nightly time and attention, while neglecting others and myself. You demanded so much of my attention– I’ve had time for nothing else.
You take away my memory, the amnesia is a scary nightly occurrence. You have taken over my life.