Christmas 2020

Christmas 2020 will always bring me cherished memories. It will be remembered as an anomaly, and not because of the pandemic. This is the year we left stress, negativity and drama behind. And it was amazing. The last two trips to Florida were in January and February and the weather was awful both times, soContinue reading “Christmas 2020”

Teachers are Everywhere

WOAH this week got a little ugly. That last day that I wrote ended with me in a fetal position bawling on the shag rug next to the fireplace around midnight- way past my bedtime. My mood was much lighter the following day. I think much of this was hormonal, plus holiday stress. I amContinue reading “Teachers are Everywhere”

Ho’oponopono

Ho’oponopono is a magic prayer. I’m not very proud of my post from yesterday. It screams ‘Pity Party’. Before I wrote, I knew that I needed some gratitude practice. So before I even started, I jotted this down: It did help, along with writing my post. I cried during meditation yesterday and today. I thinkContinue reading “Ho’oponopono”

Running

Everything is bothering me today, this week, this month, actually. I’m usually pretty upbeat & grateful, but my ego has my head exhausted. Maybe it’s being stuck in a dirty house with so many men. There is often tension between my hubby and my teenage nephew, who isn’t used to discipline and quite frankly, ITContinue reading “Running”

Day Counters

Day 625 The day counter became my nemesis in early recovery. I’ve reset that sucker too many times to count. I’ve tried abstaining without keeping track of days, because for awhile, I was too obsessed with the counter. During the first year, I played around with not using it at all. Eventually, I found itContinue reading “Day Counters”

We Do Recover

Day #619- Really it took something like 1300 days to get here, but who’s counting? I’m reminiscing today. Back in 2016 or 2017 I was having a conversation with a colleague at the Keurig machine one early morning. I was in a sad state. Hungover, head pounding, puffy face and eyes and not sure thatContinue reading “We Do Recover”

Limits

I wish I learned about that voice when I was younger. That voice, that tells me I suck. The one that says I’m not good enough. The one that whispered in my ear nearly every single day this past summer, that the hours I poured into my novel were a colossal waste.  It’s no wonderContinue reading “Limits”

Day 612 and the Ancy Ego

I feel like I grew a little this Thanksgiving holiday. I’m more focused on what I need to feel peaceful and honoring that. In the past I was too compliant and felt way too bad skipping a holiday. Have I become selfish? Having a trip planned for Christians has been the best therapy for theContinue reading “Day 612 and the Ancy Ego”

Deadsgiving

Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States. People all over will be cooking, eating, watching football, doing LOTS of drinking. Then the really crazy ones will wake up early tomorrow morning to get the good ‘Black Friday’ deals. I’m not exactly sure when I began to despise the holidays. Probably after a few yearsContinue reading “Deadsgiving”

Sole Purpose

24 Hours (March 2019: The last Day 1) Super ugly post warning. I don’t remember having a day feeling this low. I wasn’t going to drink last night, but I did. I woke up in a puddle of piss. I WET the f’ing bed! I can’t even tell you the amount of shame and guiltContinue reading “Sole Purpose”