Day 868


So many things in life are confusing these days, but not in a bad way. It feels more like an “on the edge of your seat” kind of way.

Everything that I’ve learned and keep learning in my personal development stresses the absolute importance of letting go.

So when tornados are forming around me, I shrug my shoulders, and carry on. The goal is to not get sucked in. It can be weird and feel irresponsible, but here’s the thing; some people ARE the tornado.

I’m not bashing those people. The tornados in my life are very sad to me. When I look at them, and think that I know what they should or need to do to be happy, and to stop causing themselves problems, I’m doing nothing but judging and making assumptions, which inevitably makes me feel guilty later on.

The tornados carry powerful lessons and there is a purpose to the madness.

I’m not them. I haven’t lived their life, and there’s no way can I know what’s best for them. Even those close to me. So I try to just love them, or at the very least, be nice.

That’s most of the confusing part, I think. But I’m feeling very peaceful these days, so a little confusion is okay, I’ll take it.

This summer has been total craziness, but mostly good. Had son’s grad party and then went up north with sisters. Came home and left two days later to go on a camping with a friend & her kids. It was the best feeling to come home and know that I’ll be home for awhile

I’ll go back to work in a few weeks, but am actually looking forward to it (a little bit), or at least I’m telling myself that.

I haven’t written at all this summer. It’s sad. I’m hoping to fit regular writing times into my fall schedule, but not going to stress about it if not. I have to remember though, that I do love it and real magic happens when I get into that trance. Also, I’m still passionate about my stories and think about them daily- that’s a huge motivator.

Since the title of this is Day 868, let’s invite alcohol into this conversation.

I’ve been around it more the past few weeks than the past few years put together. Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but it felt excessive.

Alcohol is a liar. You deserve it after the day you had! This will be your last chance to drink, it’s now or never. You can just have one, no big deal.. Who says these things? Slaves to alcohol, such as people you might know- or it might sound like your own voice in your head. I call that my addictive voice and named her Betsy.

Alcohol will make everything in your life worse, if you are addicted or drink excessively. Everything. But no one will tell you that, not society, not the media, and certainly not the people in your life who enjoy it with you. It can be lonely, and difficult to take the plunge, but, oh so worth it.

If you don’t believe me, then start to observe. It doesn’t take much to see the negative effects.

Once you get a glimpse of the truth of this destruction, it’s hard to unsee, and that I am so grateful for

Published by Organic Revival

I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.

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