Day 791

It’s 6am on a Wednesday morning. I’ve been awake since 3:30, and finally got out of bed around 4:30. I cleaned up the dishes the kids didn’t get to last night and took out the trash, then I put together a quiche for breakfast.

I don’t normally cook breakfast, but it’s a special day- Anthony and Andrew’s last day of high school! They have a half day, and I was a little nervous yesterday morning when Anthony said to me, “I’m going to have so much homework tonight.” Wait, what?! Let us hope it truly is his last day of high school..

We’ve had Andrew now for about a year and a half. It hasn’t been too hard, but as today has been approaching I’ve been feeling a few tons lighter. We did it. I would intrinsically think as this day got closer. All we really did was provide a safe place for him, but he’s had three great years in Novi. Much different than his freshman year in Adrian, where he had a significant amount of absences to care for his younger siblings. With a few weeks of school left, he and his siblings suddenly got uprooted to Novi to stay with my mother and father-in-law. My MIL and FIL were frantic and trying to find an extended stay or something so Andrew could finish out his freshman year (Adrian and Novi are a couple hours apart). I told them to talk to the principal and that no good administrator wants to see a student fail- and assured them that they would work with them- and they did. I think it helped that Andrew is genuinely a nice kid who seems to want to do well. Now he’s a man, and I still have to do a double take whenever I think about them as “men.”

Anthony and Andrew , circa 2007

When they were 3-4 they went to the same daycare. I would usually arrive first, and Anthony would sometimes get upset as I got ready to leave. On the good days, my sister-in-law would show up before I left with Anthony’s partner in crime and all would be good.

Around this time period, I was still in college. I had Wednesday evening classes, so my MIL would pick up both boys on Wednesdays to babysit. She made it a tradition to make monkey bread with them, and it’s a memory that has always touched them.

Today they are going to her house after school to hang out with her and make monkey bread (for old time’s sake), all whilst recording it for their Youtube channel. My my, have things have changed since three and four! I can’t help but to feel so thankful as I type this- grateful for their relationship and that she is still with us. I wish I could say that about both grandmas.

Other than this- status quo here. I’m eagerly counting down the days of school. I can’t even describe the past year- so many emotions and feelings. Some of it was great, like really really great, and other things were just awful- particularly feeling like the building I’m working in is toxic at the moment. But, I’ve been trying to steer clear of drama and gossip- it helps to just stay out of the nonsense.

I got the Covid vaccine yesterday (after much internal debate) and took today off. I am so grateful to be off today, it is a much needed mental health day- and I intend on turning my work email/phone fully off- at least for a few hours.

Today is day 791. I think about drinking sometimes, but the romanticizing is usually followed by thoughts of hell no.

I’m too scared, and honestly hope to feel like this for a very long time. Drinks are dangerous for people like me- and I’m not sure that I have another recovery in me- so it’s much easier to say “nope!”

Happy May 26th everyone! <3

 

Published by Organic Revival

I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.

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