Day #760 April 25, 2021
The other day, an old Facebook memory popped up from 2017:
We moved into this house in 2014. It wasn’t as if the frogs started singing three years later.
They are loud in the spring, loud every single night.
But I didn’t hear them. Every night I would drink until barely coherent, in fact, I’m pretty that most nights I lost consciousness before my body found my bed.
So, fast forward to 2017. I’ve started this new thing called, not drinking every night, and I realize what I’ve been missing.
While I drank away my anxiety, egotistical thoughts and anger, I wasn’t only numbing the bad- but also the good.
When I can handle the bad without turning myself comatose, I can look at the simple things in awe. Those little things are so much richer, when I’m paying attention.
It might be the smallest of things, but this little reminder was a complete blessing and spilled into my intrinsic gratuity canister.
I appreciated the little things in the very beginning. The frogs singing loudly- keeping my sober brain awake and appreciating the call of nature, the newly spacious recycle bin- void of all the taboo stinky bottles that I’d shove to the bottom in attempt to make disappear without a trace, a sober family beach party- where I actually remember the drive back and have enough life in me to take my dog for a walk after arriving home instead of collapsing in my bed while it’s still light outside.
So, thank you Facebook, it turns out you are good for something.
These days it’s easy to forget how new, scary and exciting it was while I relearned how to cope with life without putting myself to sleep, but it was.
Especially in early sobriety, it’s so important to open your eyes and take in the good along with the bad, and there is good there even if you have to dig for it on some days.
One sober moment, turns into a sober day. That turns to weeks, then months, then longer.
The little things are actually the big things, so don’t miss out 🙂