Day 653

I can’t believe it’s coming up on TWO years since I’ve had a sip of alcohol.

One of my favorite songs is “Hate Me” by Blue October.

For YEARS, I listened to the line, “
I’m sober now for three whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with” and couldn’t fathom 3 whole months. It’s still one of my favorites, and I can’t wait to say, “Three whole years.”

I’ve been seeing a ton of posts lately from people just beginning their sober journey.

I think of the years I spent, writing on here, about day 1 after day 1 after day 1. At times I felt like a sham, “Hi , me again, I F***ed up yet again.” Feeling like a sober imposter.

I didn’t understand it, any of it. I felt great during sober streaks, so why did I keep falling into the moderation trap? It never seemed to work, and just left me thinking of alcohol 24/7.

I want to hug all those in the very beginning. I want to tell them that showing up is half (or more) of the battle. And if they f*** up, to not give up. Keep showing up, reaching out, utilizing meetings & connecting with others, and to keep building that sober toolkit. I want to promise them that they’ve been lied to and there is so much more to life than feeding the monster while keeping it at bay.

I’m hopeful that people are starting to wake up.