Running

Everything is bothering me today, this week, this month, actually.

I’m usually pretty upbeat & grateful, but my ego has my head exhausted.

Maybe it’s being stuck in a dirty house with so many men. There is often tension between my hubby and my teenage nephew, who isn’t used to discipline and quite frankly, IT SUCKS AND I HATE IT.

My office is in my bedroom, but hubby is still sleeping when I have to start work. So I have to wait for him, then I can get set up. This annoys me daily.

It’s cold outside & all week I’ve tried to use the treadmill during the day, but can’t because of people working nearby. Today if I want to run I have to wait until 6, or else bundle up and freeze.

After work, I tried to meditate. Got interrupted by hubby who busted in the room to use the bathroom & let me know that he didn’t have a call for 20 minutes in case I wanted to do the treadmill.

Thanks, but by the time I get into workout clothes I’ll have about 10 minutes. The meditation session was ruined.

And I want to kill hubby.

He’s got his own set of issues. I’m not sure if he’ll ever completely follow me on the spiritual path & it’s become clear that I need to address how not to allow him to affect me.

And huge lack of sleep due to contention around here (contention in my head, I should add). 😬

One week we’re leaving & I feel sad that all I want to do is get on that plane by myself. When we leave for trips, hubby is always super stressed & pissy the morning of.

Before now, it was easy to laugh these things off.

I’ve stopped laughing. I won’t even engage with some of his ranting (the pointless kind that just feels like he’s yelling at me, even though he’s griping about something else).

When I see him do things over and over again that just make him miserable 🤦🏻‍♀️😞

The point of this wasn’t to complain about my family. It was to say that I still feel like I’m running from the holidays.

But what if it’s not the holidays I’m running from?

Day #629

Published by Organic Revival

I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.

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