It’s 10:00am on a Monday morning. My niece and I are in the pool, she’s jumping off the edge and swimming like crazy while I’m floating around trying not to get splashed. My favorite Milky Chance song comes on and all I feel is pure joy as I look at Jessica and we smile big at each other. “This is the best pool party song!” I say to her. I feel peaceful and so happy that tears begin to form as I think about my life. It was 10:00 am and we had already been for a walk and play session at the park. I felt productive and alive, a far cry from where I sat stagnant for years.
I’ve had a lot of these realizations lately, especially now that it’s summertime and I’m naturally around more family and drinking. Sometimes I miss drinking. But it’s not the alcohol I miss, it’s the mirage surrounding it. Sometimes I feel like an outsider peaking in, with the ability to see things that said drinking person cannot or will not see. I don’t judge the person, I do judge alcohol though and I think it’s the devil.
I think about the role alcohol played in my life.
It stole the show, in my adult life, it stole a lot.
It came with gifts.
When I look around at 10am on a Monday morning and appreciate all of the small things, and know, intrinsically, that things could have turned out so much different, how can I not be so grateful?
One look at the first year, or two, of this blog is a stark reminder to me. The years I had of day 1’s is enough to make me not want to touch it, ever again.
We are the luckiest.