Thursday April 2 was a great day for the most part. This was the day (from my previous post) that I had a spiritual walk and a blissful day.
I was cleaning up the kitchen with my nephew and instructed him to clean the stove. I was seasoning an iron pan and had just turned one of the gas burners off so I told him to be very careful, that burner was still very hot. In the next instance, I noticed him cleaning around the grates on one of the other burners. I zoomed over there to show him how to lift up the grates to clean underneath, when without even thinking I grabbed the hot grate.
It wasn’t too bad, fortunately, but it did hurt and blister. Truthfully, it was ok the whole evening as long as I kept something cool or cold on it. The minute I removed cooless, my skin would burn like the pit of hell.
I went to Walgreens for burn cream and wrap. Sadly, it didn’t help the pain and I had to wash it off and put ice on it because it was still burning to high heaven.
I was so worried about being able to sleep, would I have to sleep with my hand in a bucket of ice?
In the past, it wouldn’t be a problem, I would drink a bottle of vodka and pass out fast. But that wasn’t an option. And I’ve quit my vape/weed pen, so that wasn’t an option either. I was on like day 4 and didn’t want to start over– plus I really didn’t think it would be strong enough to help-it is so mild.
I thought of my sister-in-law, knowing she had a broken ankle and some other things in the past and I thought had a collection of drugs that just sits in her cabinet, so I sent her a message.
She is a godsend!
I drove over there and she gave me a bag of goodies. Two Rx painkillers that happened to be about 6 years expired. She was so kind, she also gave me manuka honey, bandages and gauze.
I thought that it was ironic that I couldn’t drink or do pot, but could do the other harsh drugs without any consequence.
I knew not to mix them, and looked them up to see which one I should take. I took 1 pill, then 2 the maximum dose. I felt a little light and giggly, but it didn’t knock me out like I expected. In fact, a couple hours later I got up and took Benadryl to help me sleep. The pain was a little better but I was wide awake. Eventually, I did sleep ok, and my hand looked and felt a bit better the next day.
But I didn’t bring the drugs back. I was curious. The next day, I tried the other one just to see what it felt like. I wasn’t impressed, but maybe because they were 6 years expired.
My mind was doing a lot of thinking about those pill bottles in the Bath and Body Works bag she sent them in.
I thought about taking some and keeping them, just in case I wanted or needed them later. I wondered if her and my brother-in-law counted the pills before sending them over. I even thought about exaggerating the burn so that I would be justified in taking more than I actually needed. As the next day went on, I was almost obsessively thinking about them, it didn’t even matter that they really weren’t effective at all, it was the idea I guess.
My addiction is looking for any opportunity to get out of my head and my body. Picking up drugs for a burn triggered it. I should also add that both medication is known to be addictive, so hoarding multiple doses is a recipe for disaster.
The following day, hubby and I took a bike ride and I took the drugs back. I was happy to get rid of them, my mind could now be free, and it was.
It’s now been a few days, and I’m not addicted to those drugs. I haven’t even given it a thought, but do realize that I need to be very careful.
That Besty, my inner alcoholic is an opportunistic BEAST!