I did something yesterday for the first time ever. I talked to a psychic medium. I’m glad that it was over an hour drive there and back and that I had a lot of alone time before and after, because I needed to process the things I heard.
I’m not sure what all to say. The whole day was weird. I started the morning by relaxing and finishing a movie I started Friday night called “Brittany Runs a Marathon.” I should explain that hubby and all 3 boys (my two plus our adopted nephew) left Friday night for a Boy Scout camping trip, and I was totally looking forward to a quiet house. I won’t dwell on the movie, but do recommend it, it was so good! Any woman who has dealt with hardships pertaining to self-esteem should watch this. It makes me want to start training for a marathon, like right meow.
My BFF who lives in Bay City was supposed to come and have girl time with me (her idea, much needed on her end, she said). She usually flakes out on me and it has made me feel irritated since it happened last spring. It’s bothered me so much that I’ve talked to a few other people I’m close to about it. I didn’t think it was fair to be talking about how annoyed I was at my BF without her even knowing, so when she cancelled on me yesterday, I told her exactly how I felt. I wasn’t mean or threatening and tried to be supportive, understanding that she has needs too. I was not well received. She was very defensive, very sorry, very down on herself, gave me a hundred excuses and then didn’t message me back. I don’t feel bad about this situation. I did at first, thinking that she was already anxious and depressed and by dumping all my feelings on her I made her feel worse. But after sitting on it for a day, I know the truth. I could have kept it in and let it fester, it’s good that I got it out. She has to know how her actions affect others.
So, after that tift, I set out on a journey to a faraway city all by myself, kicking myself for making a good friend feel bad. A little bit into the trip, there was a car in the left lane that would not move over. Being a jerky driver, I tailgated him. I knew he was getting mad because he kept washing his windshield showering me with water. I kept on him, just wanting him to move over, all the while everyone was passing him on the right. I have a problem driving and I am not patient, but I am working on this. I told myself that this guy is a lesson and I need to chill out and hang back. But it was hard not to tailgate him and he soon threw a drink at my car (not the cup, just the liquid) and he was going slower than ever. Well by now I was kind of too frightened to pass him on the right so I just kept behind him. He moved over after a little bit (not because of me, I think he was exiting) and I was a little nervous to pass him and prayed he didn’t have a gun (people are crazy with road rage!). As I passed he made a shooting gesture but just with his hand, luckily, but it was all kind of odd.
It was a miracle that I made it to this psychic/holistic fair I was going to. It was in a little neighborhood church in downtown Saginaw. I didn’t think I was going to find it for a minute. I wanted to listen to my soul and didn’t know if I would actually walk inside or if I would circle the parking lot and go right home, kind of like going to your first AA meeting.
I wanted two things: to talk to my mom and to try to figure out my life and if I’m on track/what am I supposed to be doing?? I read about the psychics and picked the one who I felt most drawn to. I shopped around for a bit while I waited for my turn.
I was apprehensive and skeptical. Her session was for 20 minutes and she asked if I wanted a Tarot card reading or for her to channel spirits, but really I wanted both so I was able to book a double session.
She gave me the cards to hold (so they could get my energy) while she communicated with spirits.
My mom was there right away. She glowed with happiness when I asked her if she gave me the message to buy the Glenda house. She also glowed with happiness when talking about someone who must be my oldest son (was talking about someone performing on a stage- which he has done and is now talking about taking a theater class). She told me to stop making lists and being so serious and anxious. She also told me that there’s something big, but I don’t have enough information yet. I’m on the right track but just have to hang tight and wait to see everything play out. Boy this could describe many situations in my life right now. I guess overall it was very reassuring and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
My Tarot card reading was a little more unsettling. The cards I got showed tremendous spiritual growth and change in 2019– which was all accurate. According to my birthday, 2020 will be a big year for me lessons wise. This is telling of a difficult year. The upside of it is that 2021, 2022 and 2023 will 3 really good years.
The main purpose of this lifetime for me is to work on relationships. Quite fitting to get this reading after the blow up with my BFF. I don’t even remember the last time we had an argument or disagreement. I can see this purpose being true though, as its been something I’ve been working on since being in recovery.
I’m also an 11, which means I could have psychic abilities and I’m also a healer. I was happy to hear some positives, because I have to admit that I’m a little afraid of the upcoming year though.
She also saw a lot of money around me and said that she sees a huge shift in our finances and a career change for next year. I love my job and we are living comfortably, so none of this sounds like good news to me. We were poor for the first years of our marriage (we were young plus I was still in college) and have worked hard to live an abundant life. Are we going to lose everything we’ve worked so hard for?
That’s all for today. But you know what I can do to make 2020 better? Train for a marathon, right? <3