60 Days

Sixty days ago I woke up around 4:00 am in a puddle of piss– on school day no less.  I changed and went back to sleep on the couch, trying to sleep off my ginormous headache.

To say I was physically impaired the next day is an understatement, although that wasn’t even my biggest ailment.  The guilt and shame was far worse than the physical hangover.  I showered, but still felt as though I smelled of pee all day long.  Work was long, and awful and I was worried that my husband was going to leave me.  When he texted asking a simple question, I was sure he was done.

In reality, he is far more forgiving.  Despite the awful day, we had a nice evening. The weather was nice and we rode our bikes up to a local restaurant.  During dinner, I leveled with him, telling him that I have to stop drinking and have to dump out all of the alcohol around the house.

Maybe that horrible awful day was a blessing.  The final thing that made me finally realize that I cannot handle drinking.  The day I surrendered.  I AM powerless over alcohol– no doubt about it.

Fast forward to day 60.  I am much healthier and happier today.  I’ve had two other extended periods of sobriety (93 days in 2017 and 127 days in 2018), but this time has been my favorite yet.  I just know in my heart of hearts, that I can’t go back.  Even when my sister talks about visiting Michigan (she hasn’t been up here in about 3 years, maybe 4 I’m not sure) and we talk about going to a summer concert with the other sister (we haven’t all 3 been together in years), the first thing that I said is, “I can be the DD!”   The desire of drinking didn’t even cross my mind (and hopefully it will stay that way).  I thank God for this and pray that the strong will continues.  Before I could have easily used my visiting sister as an excuse to binge, one last time.

It is Sunday of Memorial Day weekend.  Yesterday we had GORGEOUS weather, but I don’t think we’ll be so lucky today and tomorrow.  It’s going to be much cooler and rainy.  Here are some pics of the weekend so far:

Nothing major, but all good things.  Yesterday I took my youngest to a couple specialty stores (Fresh Thyme for produce and Trader Joes).  Although he came grudgingly, he had a nice time picking out healthy and unhealthy vegan foods.  It is truly the simple things that can be so good in life.  I posted our dinner because it was plant based and delicious!  I DO love this way of eating and it makes my heart happy.

Happy Memorial Day, and thank you to all of the soldiers who make daily sacrifices for our freedom <3

Published by Organic Revival

I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.

4 thoughts on “60 Days

  1. Congratulations! I know I’ve watched your journey, and acceptance and surrender was the key to my recovery, too.
    And my husband stayed, too.
    We are loved!
    xo
    Wendy

  2. Sixty days! You’re past the hard part. I’m glad the idea of “going back” was finally beaten out of me, though I used to cling to it in my prior periods of sobriety. Before, I always had this tiny idea that I could go back one day, maybe just drinking on an elaborate vacation. Or after a few years of being sober. There was always something just over the horizon that would be worthy of drinking.

    Strangely enough, becoming a vegetarian happened at the same time I gave up the alcohol. I LOVE eating this way also. It’s almost like the self-love shown by taking care of the body through food helps the self-love necessary to stay sober, you know?

    Any who, Congratulations!!!!
    💕

    1. Thank you Shawna!! That’s funny that you became vegetarian around the same time. I wonder if it has to do with recognizing the things we are doing that make our soul happy – and doing more of that 🤗. I think Self love is SO important and crucial to our success 💙

      1. Self love is the only way I (finally!) got through it. Treating myself like I would want my daughter to treat herself. I know that self love is not “selfish,” but crucial to my wellbeing and therefore everyone else’s that I love or come in contact with. 💕

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