Sixty days ago I woke up around 4:00 am in a puddle of piss– on school day no less.  I changed and went back to sleep on the couch, trying to sleep off my ginormous headache.

To say I was physically impaired the next day is an understatement, although that wasn’t even my biggest ailment.  The guilt and shame was far worse than the physical hangover.  I showered, but still felt as though I smelled of pee all day long.  Work was long, and awful and I was worried that my husband was going to leave me.  When he texted asking a simple question, I was sure he was done.

In reality, he is far more forgiving.  Despite the awful day, we had a nice evening. The weather was nice and we rode our bikes up to a local restaurant.  During dinner, I leveled with him, telling him that I have to stop drinking and have to dump out all of the alcohol around the house.

Maybe that horrible awful day was a blessing.  The final thing that made me finally realize that I cannot handle drinking.  The day I surrendered.  I AM powerless over alcohol– no doubt about it.

Fast forward to day 60.  I am much healthier and happier today.  I’ve had two other extended periods of sobriety (93 days in 2017 and 127 days in 2018), but this time has been my favorite yet.  I just know in my heart of hearts, that I can’t go back.  Even when my sister talks about visiting Michigan (she hasn’t been up here in about 3 years, maybe 4 I’m not sure) and we talk about going to a summer concert with the other sister (we haven’t all 3 been together in years), the first thing that I said is, “I can be the DD!”   The desire of drinking didn’t even cross my mind (and hopefully it will stay that way).  I thank God for this and pray that the strong will continues.  Before I could have easily used my visiting sister as an excuse to binge, one last time.

It is Sunday of Memorial Day weekend.  Yesterday we had GORGEOUS weather, but I don’t think we’ll be so lucky today and tomorrow.  It’s going to be much cooler and rainy.  Here are some pics of the weekend so far:

Nothing major, but all good things.  Yesterday I took my youngest to a couple specialty stores (Fresh Thyme for produce and Trader Joes).  Although he came grudgingly, he had a nice time picking out healthy and unhealthy vegan foods.  It is truly the simple things that can be so good in life.  I posted our dinner because it was plant based and delicious!  I DO love this way of eating and it makes my heart happy.

Happy Memorial Day, and thank you to all of the soldiers who make daily sacrifices for our freedom ❤

4 thoughts on “60 Days

  1. Sixty days! You’re past the hard part. I’m glad the idea of “going back” was finally beaten out of me, though I used to cling to it in my prior periods of sobriety. Before, I always had this tiny idea that I could go back one day, maybe just drinking on an elaborate vacation. Or after a few years of being sober. There was always something just over the horizon that would be worthy of drinking.

    Strangely enough, becoming a vegetarian happened at the same time I gave up the alcohol. I LOVE eating this way also. It’s almost like the self-love shown by taking care of the body through food helps the self-love necessary to stay sober, you know?

    Any who, Congratulations!!!!
    💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Shawna!! That’s funny that you became vegetarian around the same time. I wonder if it has to do with recognizing the things we are doing that make our soul happy – and doing more of that 🤗. I think Self love is SO important and crucial to our success 💙

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Self love is the only way I (finally!) got through it. Treating myself like I would want my daughter to treat herself. I know that self love is not “selfish,” but crucial to my wellbeing and therefore everyone else’s that I love or come in contact with. 💕

        Liked by 1 person

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