This too shall pass.
I feel like I’ve been saying this for weeks.
My intention was to write a positive post tonight. After all, it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow and my boys and I are going to the Sasha Farm Sanctuary to learn about the cruelty of factory farms, to cuddle some farm animals and to eat some yummy vegan food.
It’s been a really gross week.
My sister has been going through turbulent times with her boyfriend, who is also the father of her 5 year old daughter. He did something no one could have predicted and completely snapped Tuesday night. While my sister and niece were sleeping he set the house on fire. The fire alarms were turned off, but somehow my sister woke up and navigated her and my niece out through the smoke.
I really liked him. I am so sad for my sister and niece, who will likely never see her father again. And we are mourning the loss of him– because no matter what he can and will never be a part of the family again.
So I’ve been feeling in a funk since. And the weather here totally sucks– cold and rainy, nearly every single day. And work has been stressful– with testing and teachers stressed because I can’t do all of the things I normally do- all due to these USELESS state mandated tests. They are completely inappropriate for our students and so incredibly time consuming for everyone.
I started to feel positive this evening when I declared to my beef wanting nachos teenager, “I can’t buy beef.” I used to cook us separate meals (me vegetarian, them with real meat), but recently told them I was no longer cooking meat– but they are welcome to cook it. After digging deeper into veganism, I realize that everytime I buy meat, eggs or dairy, I am supporting a very cruel industry. I. Just. Can’t. I put in a grocery order tonight, but I told my family, “You are welcome to buy and cook meat, but I can’t support that.”
My positivity was drained quickly when hubby came in from mowing the lawn. He has been upset at our new neighbors for mowing part of our yard and not on the lot line. I think he said something to him before, but he continues to cut on our side. Well, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation tonight and I feel like he just waged war on our next door neighbors. I can’t tell you how icky this makes me feel inside! And kind of irritated with hubby– WHY does he have to create such a conflict? UGH– I just feel so gross about it. I want to write them a peace letter. I also want them to stay on their side.
It’s Saturday night, and I wish I could feel the joy of having a free night with a day to sleep in tomorrow and exciting fun day to look forward. All this darkness is casting a shadow on all the good things. My vibrations right now are so low, I know this will only cause low vibrations to come back to me and cause more friction.
I’m trying to just breathe, because this too shall pass.