I read a blog some time ago that has really been on my mind lately. It was about relapsing and going through the most difficult part of sobriety over and over and over again.
I feel like this has been where I’m at since July (UGH, like a whole 1/2 year wasted.. makes me feel kind of sick to think about). When I’m not drinking the first month or so is the hardest physically, mentally and emotionally. Especially weeks 2-4 where I could sleep like 12 hours a day. Even those few drinks Xmas eve messed me up for days (sleep, irritability and piece of mind, etc).
Not sure what my point is here, other than to be annoyed at myself. BUT I’m hoping that this knowledge and experience can help douse the PAWS fire that tends to heat up around days 10-14 and randomly pops up throughout early sobriety (and probably later, although I’ve never been past early sobriety– so I wouldn’t know).
I’m really tired of starting over and this awful cycle 😔
Time to pull up my bootstraps and conquer this “thing” that only wants to take over and ruin my life. I am so much more than this stupid alcohol addiction. F*** You alcohol &