I hit what felt like “rock bottom” two nights ago. I didn’t go to jail– or screw up my marriage– but I was at an all time low– feeling completely helpless, hopeless and just plain sad. This was Sunday and I had spent the whole day trying not to burst into tears over my foot and the uncertainties that have come with it.
I was on the floor playing Cribbage with the hubs trying not to think about my throbbing foot and the full day training I had to lead the following day. I started to worry about whether or not it was infected– after all, I am on a medicine that can make it hard to fight infections. What if I woke up and it was worse? What if I can’t walk? What if I have to cancel the back-to-back trainings I had to teach? THIS felt like rock bottom. Having a debilitating condition that was threatening my livelihood was a new low and the uncertainty was extremely bothersome to me. But I kept it all in, because otherwise I would lose it completely.
As I tried to focus on the game, I remembered the power of positivity. Here I was thinking negative thoughts and scenarios in my head. I decided right then and there, NO more. I was going to think positive. I spoke to the Universe. I spoke to God. I spoke to anyone who would listen. I wished and thought the pain away & I told myself how awesome my presentations would be. I was going to rock it! I went to bed Sunday night feeling hopeful.
Monday was terrific. I woke up with a lot less pain in my foot, which was a huge relief. My colleague and I rocked our training. AND, I was able to get an appointment with that world renowned functional medicine doctor who I’ve been playing phone tag with. They had a cancellation so I was able to get in THIS week!
Today, Tuesday, has also been a great day so far. My colleague and I ROCKED our other presentation this morning (which was the more nerve racking one!). As soon as the presentations were over, the power went out. The afternoon was supposed to be for us to stay and do records, but the power stayed out, so now I’m at home doing my report cards fireside <3
So, yay!! Done with the presentations and hope that things will get better. I have to go to the foot doctor in a little bit for a recheck. I’m not so frightened now because my foot feels a lot better. Even if he wants to cast it, at least I can see that other doctor before I make a decision and feel more confident about that decision.
I NEED to stay positive to keep this momentum going <3 <3 <3