Life and My Stinkin’ Thinkin’

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My life is slowly spiraling out of control.  I am at ease with it.  I know that I have to make some big changes, I’m just not ready yet.

I quit the AIP diet in the third week.  It was a TOUGH week.  All my meals were tasting so gross, I was choking them down, I was SO tired and felt achy like having the flu and the pain along with a SH**load of swelling returned to my foot.  I’m sure I was detoxing, and probably would be feeling so much better if I had stuck with it, but I’ve been drinking and eating garbage since the Wednesday of that 3rd week.

I’m now taking twice the amount of Humira and am on a low dose of pred everyday.  I’m not happy about having to increase meds.  I had an MRI on my feet and just found out that I have several microfractures and will have to see a foot doctor.

I don’t know how I’m going to get myself under control.  I’ve thought about getting a life coach and/or finding a good functional doctor who can help guide me.

I was doing really good on the AIP diet and had a good mindset.  I think if I mentally prepare better and take care of my needs better, I can do it.  Plus next time I’ll know to expect a hard detox, even a few weeks in.  That was the tough part because weeks 1 & 2 were easy and I felt really good.  By the 3rd week the amount of effort it took to prepare meals was starting to wear on me and then BOOM when everyday I was feeling worse, I just threw in the towel.  It didn’t help that the food was tasting gross.  Better planning and knowing those expectations will help me next time.

Trying to be grateful but sometimes it is HARD.  I am tired of thinking & feeling impaired. I know life will get better, I just don’t know when <3

Published by Organic Revival

I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.

8 thoughts on “Life and My Stinkin’ Thinkin’

  1. Fallon M – Midwesterner in my mid twenties, here! I am a cat loving summer girl. Napping or painting in my alone time is essential! Otherwise, you can find me in the kitchen cooking the next big thing. I spent a few years working in the food and service industry, making me a huge believer in the meal experience. Gathering around the table with friends and family, entertaining guests, or simply learning something new, I'd like to help others serve up some love right from their very kitchen!
    fallymk says:

    Good luck, its hard figuring out “when” youre ready. Especially when you didn’t think the bar could go any lower. Take care

    1. Hella Moone – I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
      Organic Revival says:

      Thank you

    1. Hella Moone – I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
      Organic Revival says:

      I’ve been wondering if a life coach could help me. I was seeing a therapist last year, but didn’t find her very helpful. I’m also wondering if I should try a different therapist…

  2. To be honest, so many of my health issues were worsened by alcohol.
    It was not until I got the alcohol completely out of my system that any of the elimination diets and programs worked.

    Booze is stronger than the best food.

    Focus on the alcohol. Period. Forget the rest. Just do whatever it takes to stop drinking. Go to aa, therapy, take Antabuse, whatever.

    Then, maybe the next year you might know what the next step will be. But until then it’s all just lost in the damage alcohol does.

    Hugs. This is hard. But you can do it.

    Anne

    1. Hella Moone – I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
      Organic Revival says:

      Thanks Anne, I think you’re right. I struggle though because I had like 100 sober days and felt SO good!! My rheumy visit was stellar & a few weeks later I was riddled with pain & inflammation. Shortly after that time period I began drinking again. I had 123 days sober, and think that while I was feeling great for a bit- my body wasn’t healed yet. It’s going to be a long haul- but I think you’re right— I need to focus on being 100% AF

      1. Auto immune diseases are so frustrating.

        The booze just never helps.

        I sometimes think I should be the healthiest person as I don’t drink and I eat well.

        But I know I could be worse. And that’s powerful.

      2. Hella Moone – I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
        Organic Revival says:

        That is SO true

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