I made the conscious decision to drink on my birthday a good 10 days beforehand.  Even though I had been having a nice sober streak & feeling good, I was comfortable with my choice.

My BFF and her hubby were coming from out of town to see a show and stay the night.  While my BFF and I used to drink all the time, she isn’t necessarily a trigger for me.  She can take it or leave it and I haven’t drank with her at all in a year.

I have a history of drinking too much, checking out & blacking out and not remembering things– especially during an outing or party with friends.

My birthday itself was terrific– perfect actually.  It falls on St. Patty’s Day and I love that it’s on such a festive fun day!  We had a great dinner in downtown Royal Oak and then went to see Puddles the clown.   I didn’t know who he was, but my friends love him and so when they asked us to go on my birthday months ago, I had to say yes.  Especially since it at a theater in one of my favorite towns.  It was a pretty good show– different but very interesting!  Afterwards, we stayed up half the night chatting the night away & my boys enjoying our friends’ visit (they are like an aunt and uncle to them).  I drank throughout the day and night, but did not overdrink.  I had a couple here and there, could hold my head up at the show and actually remember going to bed.

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So.. my birthday happened, my friends came & it was a great celebration & alcohol was a welcome and tame guest.  In all regards, it would appear that my struggle with alcohol is a think of the past– right???

I supposed if I was a normal drinker than that statement could be true.  But I am anything but a normie.

How so?  WELL… about 10 days before my birthday I decided that I was going to drink on my birthday with my friends here.  Naturally, I had to practice, right?  I didn’t just drink on my birthday.  I drank everyday after I made that decision up until my birthday.  I suppose if I was going to throw in the towel and reset my counter, I may as well live it up!  I figured my birthday would be a “last hurrah” and then I could focus on long term sobriety.

It is now 5 days after my birthday and I have drank every night since.  Every. Single. Night.

One decision to drink on one occasion has now lead to 2 weeks of binge drinking.

This is extremely problematic.  

I cannot give myself an inch, I will take a mile.  I can’t allow a sip– for I will drink a river.  I must always remember that one decision to drink will lead to a difficult struggle that will last for days at best, months or years at worst.

Currently thankful for being sober, taking it one moment at a time.  Reflecting on my mistakes and vowing to learn from them & aiming to be better.

Peace & Love ❤

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9 thoughts on “Birthday, Friends and St. Patty’s Day

  1. My wise sober coach says. “The decision to have one drink is the decision to have hundreds.”
    For us, this is so true. And so it’s been for me when I try the alcohol experiment, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Hold on to your sobriety, nurture it and treat it lovingly and gently as it is fragile and easily taken advantage of. Glad you’re back. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Go to http://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com! I’m not sure if you’ve heard of her blog and website already, as I know it’s pretty popular among we boozers. It is run by a trash-talking, sassy, wonderfully funny sober lady named Belle. She rocks. You can sign up for free mass emails and one minute audios to encourage your sobriety. You can also purchase more audios, coaching calls, and any combination of audio classes/penpal coaching service/phone calls. She also wrote a book. It’s just another sober tool in the box! Check out her blog and her offerings, it might be helpful. I did her sober jumpstart class “kick-ass,” and I subscribe to her podcasts. I’ve found it helpful, in combination with blogging, therapy, and a weekly DBT-based substance abuse meeting. as I need all the tools I can get my hands on! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! The show was called “Puddles Pity Party” and he is a sad clown. How could I resist a pity party on my birthday? 😉 It was a funny show and he is musically talented. And creepy, lol!

      Liked by 1 person

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