I’ve been doing well since the last relapse.  I dumped my wine and have been a happier person not drinking.

I didn’t crave or have the urge to drink last night, which was Friday night.

Today has been LONG.  I didn’t sleep well last night (I think due to some sinus meds I took close to bedtime– won’t do that again!) and had to be up early for the last God and Me Class with my youngest.

After the class, I spent a few hours cleaning the house which was long overdue.  My youngest helped me while my hubby and oldest worked on painting and cleaning out the laundry room.

Now my mind is going.  Going going going.  And Betsy has begun yapping about how much I deserve some wine.  I don’t have any, but I DO need to run to the grocery store later…

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I’m writing in hopes of deterring my desire to drink. After all, each and every time I drink, it does NOT end well, ever.

Here are 10 good reasons why I should not buy wine and drink tonight:

  1.  The first one will be good, but then afterwards I will feel nothing.  It will be hard to focus on anything or hold a conversation.  Do I want to live or do I want to allow the spirits to take over?
  2. I don’t want to wake up and regret anything I did online or in real life.
  3. Worse than the regret, is not remembering if I had anything to regret and having to check my phone and computer to see who I talked to and what I said (which is one of the worst feelings in the world).
  4. I don’t want to wake up at 4am with a pounding head, fast heartbeat, major anxiety and guilt and shame.
  5. I don’t want to disappoint my family.
  6. If I buy it, there will be enough left for 2-3 more nights of drinking– and I will drink every night until it’s gone.  This means days of feeling horrible mentally and physically and then more day 1’s when by next week I can almost be to double digits.
  7. I have someplace to be tomorrow morning and don’t want to look and feel like SH&%.
  8. If I drink I will have such an unproductive day tomorrow– again which will make me mentally feel like crud.
  9. While it might be nice to fantasize about, there is nothing magical about putting poison into the body.
  10. I. Don’t. Want. To.  SO… Betsy, my stupid demonic inner alcoholic voice, I WIN!!!!

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One thought on “Betsy Wants a Drink

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