Tuesday, February 13, 2018
Day from hell, from well before sun up to long after sun down. OK, none of my family was involved in a major accident AND we are still alive, so it wasn’t THAT bad… plus, we didn’t get fired from our jobs today, which is another bonus (maybe?).
Here’s the day in nutshell:
–Woke up super groggy–probably due taking the 24 hour antihistamine before bed in hopes of clearing up some of my mucous (after 4 weeks this damn cold is going strong)
–Teenager woke up super groggy also and was moving slower than sludge. ZERO sense of urgency when I tell him we have 15 minutes and he wants to spend 12 minutes eating cereal
–Finally left the house– about 7 minutes later than planned, thanks to having to change my shirt to accommodate a recent weight gain and my slow teenager
–Sat in traffic for a LONG time because they closed lanes to fix potholes during rush hour, got to work 30 minutes later than usual– had to hustle to get ready for the morning groups
–2 minutes before the bell rang I got called to sub for a 4th grade classroom. All. Day. Long. Any work that I had planned on accomplishing today would have to be put off. This gave me exactly 45 seconds to review the sub plans before the bell rang
— Lunchtime consisted of being on hold, getting transferred to different people and yelling at the medical supply company for the second day in a row. I just want TEST STRIPS for my diabetic son. I’m not asking for psychedelic drugs. I don’t know why it’s been 10 days and they STILL haven’t been able to obtain an Rx from his endocrinologist. I had to yell, beg and beg.. by this point he is almost out, and it’s kind of important for him to test his blood sugar multiple times a day..
–Rushed home, marathon made lunches, supervised homework, took care of animals, etc in time to leave for the God and Me Scout class with my youngest
–Traffic… again… Lots and lots….
–The class was ok. I enjoy it but the teacher and her son are very annoying. That sounds SO mean. He constantly interrupts her and appears to TRY to test her limits and she is overly fake nice. It was just me and Will and her and him tonight. It’ll be better next time with another boy and mom–but it was exhausting watching this mom and son mentally battle each other during the whole class
–Stopped at BK on the way home. STUFFED my face. Oh yeah, and today is fat Tuesday and a coworker always brings Paczkis straight from Hamtramck. Wasn’t planning on indulging, but after getting called to 4th grade I had 1/2 while they were in music. Feeling fat on this fat Tuesday 🙁
Finally got home at 8 pm. Thank God tomorrow is a new day!
Today is my late mom’s birthday. If there is any lemonade to be made from today’s lemons, then maybe it’s the fact that I had zero time to think and be sad about her today.
Last year on this day, it was my 3rd sober day. My FIRST 3rd sober day in like 10 years. When hubby got home, I was in the kitchen making dinner. I had some wine left in the garage and wanted it SO badly, it hurt. In fact, when he got home, he hugged me and I started to sob. He held me tighter and he didn’t question it. He thought I was crying because it was my mom’s birthday. I had to tell him that I was upset because I wanted some wine SO bad. He talked me out of it and we went for a walk. I will never forget that day– it was such a sad thing to me (that I was crying over WINE and not my mom..)
That was my first attempt at sobriety and it lasted for 93 days. I read a quote tonight that pretty much sums up the past year:
“When you start doubting yourself, remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.” — unknown
So as I say goodbye to this annoying AF day, I am happy to acknowledge how far I’ve come. I mean come on, after a day like today I am not crying about not drinking. I’m feeling the annoyances of the day and hoping for a better tomorrow, without the hangover <3
Rest in Heaven mama <3 <3