Day 1 for me, yet again. This time I feel ready. I am so incredibly excited for a long stretch of sobriety. I’m continuing to learn and build up my toolbox and I’m optimistic about the future.
I had two short term goals– one was to attend an evening meeting and the other was to at least schedule an appointment with a therapist.
I attended the local Friday night AA meeting two nights ago. It wasn’t at all what I expected. I expected it to be larger and more transient. There weren’t many people– (roughly half the size of the noon meeting I’ve attended) and most seemed like regulars who knew each other. This was both comfortable and uncomfortable. Comfortable in the fact that they were nice enough that I feel that if I continue going then I will probably be able to develop relationships the group. And it was uncomfortable for the obvious reason of being a new person in an established group. Overall, I’m glad I went and I do plan on going back.
I don’t actually have an appointment with a therapist, but I do have a call into one who is supposed to call me back. I also messaged another one just in case the first one can’t accommodate my schedule. I am so excited to get this kind of help– but I’m not sure that my insurance will cover it. I really hope it does (the lady who took my call said that insurance many times won’t cover “substance abuse” addictions– but since I also have an eating disorder I’m hopeful that it’ll cover my visit). If insurance doesn’t cover an addiction therapist then my plan B is to go to a therapist that I’ve seen in the past. She is really good– but doesn’t have experience with addiction.
Let’s do this!!
One more thing that I want to add is that I have a couple of exciting things to focus on and look forward to in the near future.
Next Friday I have a fun date with my hubby. We are going to The Creature Conservatory in Ann Arbor to see a presentation on creatures of the night. At the end of the night, they’ll turn on only red lights and then they’ll open door to the bat roost and 35 bats will be flying in the arena above our heads! I am so excited that he got us tickets for this, it is going to be such a great evening.
The following weekend we are going on a Boy Scout trip to Muskegon to have some winter fun. I will be sliding down a luge! We will also be skating and going cross country skiing. I’m thrilled, but better not forget the motrin! Boy Scout trips used to be a large source of stress for me if I had to go. There is absolutely ZERO drinking tolerated (well duh..). Now a Boy Scout trip is such a welcomed relief. For two days I don’t have to even fight it, it’s just a given– NO drinking.
Yes, I am so ready to do this! I haven’t been able to stick to it since the holidays. THIS is what I’ve been missing:
- Exceptional Sleep
- Feeling well rested every single day (even after late nights or early wake ups)
- Full engagement of an activity (without rushing home to drink and/or thinking about it)
- Ability to focus
- Feeling carefree
- Feeling like I have my life under control
- Reading every night
- Remembering going to bed & the night before
- Positive self awareness
- Feeling confident at work
- Having the energy to teach 7-8 small groups per day
- The desire and ability to exercise daily (or at least almost daily)
- Belly laughs
- Appreciation of delicious drinks that aren’t filled with poison
Let’s do this– I am so ready!
One more note on self care. It is so easy as a mom to neglect yourself. Up until now, my teeth have been grossly neglected, due to a lack of time, but more than anything due to my fear of dentists. Two years ago I cracked my back tooth. I went in and the dentist quoted me thousands to fix it and all of my other tooth problems. I didn’t want to pay all that and it wasn’t painful so I never went back. About a month ago, that same tooth chipped even more– now I had a gaping hole. It wasn’t sore but was sensitive to hot and cold, so I found a new dentist who could see me right away (and had WAY more reasonable prices than the last dentist). He did a root canal and put a crown on it. I almost told him to just pull it because I was terrified of the root canal (it wasn’t my first). I had gas and it was actually a pleasant experience. I’m not sure if that was cheating on my sobriety– but I’m going to allow this for me. In fact, after my crown was put in, I scheduled a teeth cleaning. I was SO sensitive that the last dentist wanted to numb me and clean it in quarters– so I would need 4 visits to get them all cleaned. That was like 6 years ago and I never followed up. So I was super excited to have my teeth cleaned up. I had the gas and again, it was not bad at all. I still need a couple fillings dug out and crowns put on (but no root canals, yay!), but after that my teeth will be in TIP TOP shape! This is so exciting for me, as my teeth have been a huge source of stress, neglect and self loathing! I don’t like how crooked they are, but haven’t done anything about it because I knew there were problems in there that needed to be addressed. NOW I can see about getting them straightened– guys this is huge 🙂 🙂 🙂
Moral of the story? A little self care can go a long way. Since my cleaning, I have been diligent about taking care of my teeth properly (something I’ve never done before in my life). If you are putting off something that you dread, it can be life changing to finally face it.
Ok.. that’s all I’ve got. I am so ready to do this <3