I’ve been dreading writing this post, especially after my last post Life on Life’s Terms.
The good news is that my uncle, while still in critical condition is making some really good progress! We were told on Saturday that if he makes it until Tuesday then his chance for recovery is good (for those who missed my last post, my uncle who is a police officer was hit by a car while directing traffic and suffered major head trauma). It is already Wednesday and he has made daily small improvements and we are hopeful for a full recovery <3
The bad news is that I let Betsy take advantage of the stress of this situation. I was sober that first night. After being at the hospital, dealing with family stress and drama, I had to stop and get cough drops for my kiddo and I picked up wine.
I can list 50 reasons why/excuses, but will spare you. THIS is what I want to get out of this situation: When the next crisis happens (and it will– it’s called life!), WHAT can I do differently? I was so strong that first night but then as more stress was added I just DID NOT want to feel anymore.
SO.. this week I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting. I need to add more tools to my toolbox. Specifically, I need to find a regular meeting or program to attend (if not AA, then Celebrate Recovery, Smart Recovery, etc). I also would like to find an addiction therapist to meet one-on-one with. I think this would be super helpful with creating some realistic goals for me.
I did sign up for an online recovery class and have been progressing nicely– but do think that outside groups and therapy would do me a lot of good. I’ve been saying this for awhile now.
NEXT time I post I want 2 things:
I want to have attended an evening meeting and will write about how it went. I know that once I attend that first one, it’ll be easier to go back.
I also want to have set up an appointment with an addictions therapist. I probably won’t have a visit before my next post (sometimes it takes a bit to get in)– but if I at least have it scheduled then I’m unlikely to back out.