This week my addiction has won.
All due to a number of events that lead me to stop on the way home from my union meeting to get wine and succumb to my urge.
This time of the year has been difficult. I am not happy that I threw away 55 days. I am not excited to start counting from Day 1. I’m not even sure that I want to count at all.
Addiction is tough and it can seem impossible to beat. It’s like a bump in the road. You’re riding along all smooth and fast, cruising right along, singing and relaxed. Out of nowhere appears a Michigan pothole. You come to a complete stop, you break your tire and rim, your front end gets bent and you then have to hobble along– all at a super slow speed sporting a donut. Sometimes you see the hole and can avoid it– but sometimes it just seems to appear from thin air.
I’m not sure what to do next. It’s Saturday and I think I’m going to stay sober tonight. I do feel much better not drinking. I have liquor left (that was yesterday’s purchase) and intended on drinking tonight as a last hurrah for awhile– but I’m gathering strength to abstain. I may or may not dump it down the drain.
This is hard.