Moderation Condemnation

It is Thursday morning and I sadly woke up with a wine hangover headache.  Let’s back up to Tuesday.

On Tuesday, I wanted wine badly.  Hubby gave me some tough love and I didn’t give in to the craving.  It felt GREAT to wake up on Wednesday, knowing that I didn’t blow it.  I now had double digits of sobriety– which I hadn’t seen in awhile.

Wednesday was a great day.  I had a leisurely morning, worked out, showered and did some fun shopping (shopping without a real purpose– just looking at whatever suits my mood).  Mind you, the whole time that I was out and about, I did not think to pick up wine once.

Something happened that evening.  I saw people drinking on TV & then couldn’t get it out of my head.  At 8:00 I turned on an AA meeting.  10 minutes in and I turned it off and went and got wine.

It tasted really great.  It made me feel really great too.  Hubby had a scout parent meeting and I had to explain myself to him when he came home.

I told him that if I drink for 2 nights every couple of weeks, then I’m ok with that.  I don’t think that it’s the end of the world and I’m not going to beat myself up over it.  If it becomes an everyday thing like before, well.. then.. that’s a problem.

Maybe I’ll stop counting days, I’m not sure.

This is my long and complicated journey.  No one said it would be easy.  I’m going to keep one foot ahead of the other and focus on the journey–not the destination.  <3 journey

Published by Organic Revival

I am a mom of boys, wife, furmom, gardner, walker, runner, teacher, reader, writer and cook. I am 42 years old and live in the beautiful state of Michigan. I love my job as an elementary special education teacher. The most remarkable quality of mine is that I'm a recovering alcoholic.

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