I drank at the beach yesterday, even though I was going to try to abstain.
You see, being at the beach, especially with that side of the family after my mom passed away can be dreadful. Nothing against them, I love them all. It just brings on a certain amount of stress.. that I can’t explain.
For the past two years, maybe even longer, I can’t remember attending a family party at the beach that I’ve not been super drunk by the end of. Typically I don’t remember the ride home (I never drive like this, of course!) and go to bed shortly after.. or sobering up and drinking some more if it’s early enough.
So of course, all morning I’m going back and forth in my head.. do I drink or do I not drink.. I proposed to Anthony on the way there that we stop and get a 6 pack of something and share it. He usually will drink about 2 of something and that is it.
We picked up a 6 pack of hard orange pop. This is like beer and isn’t as strong as wine. We stayed for about 3 ½ hours and in that time I had about 3 bottles of the hard soda. I didn’t really ever catch a buzz and was completely sober by the time we went home. I was really proud that I could have driven home.. I even offered! (He drives most everywhere, which is fine with me I play the music and play on my phone).
When we got home, I cleaned up a little, watered my plants and then we took Jules up to the dog park. How nice it was to not get home and pass out! I actually had a productive night and was not tempted to drink once I was home (plus I was pretty much out of everything).
SO, even though I failed and did drink, I think it was ok. If I can go to a family party, sip on alcohol without getting drunk, then I can live with that!
Tonight is Monday. I feel like I have a lot to do today. I have professional development all day for the next 3 days. I’m going to try to be really productive today. My goal is to not drink tonight.
#recovery #soberliving #alchoholaddiction