Doing good– recovery is going well. I am building my toolbox and using my tools.
It’s been a about 14 days since my last drink. I don’t think about drinking most times. Sometimes, it’s a fleeting thought but persistent and my mind tries to tell me that it would be a really good idea to pick up some wine and drink.
I have to tell myself, “NO, you don’t drink anymore?” Normally, the thought goes away quickly. It is when I decided to play around with occasional drinking that the voice got loud and persistent. The longer I abstain, the easier it is to shut the voice up.
I am putting my sobriety first. If I need to keep busy, I keep busy. If I need to be lazy, then I’m lazy. If my body needs a nap, then I take a nap. I am putting myself first– summer vacation is allowing me to do that and I am so grateful.
I’ve been to 2 AA meetings and fixing to go to my 3rd today. There is supposedly a good speaker speaking at the meeting on Friday and I’m excited to go. I’m heading to Tawas tomorrow with the boys and will be back on Thursday, so today (Monday) and Friday will probably be the only days I make it to meetings this week.
I am proud of my progress! I am especially proud when I read back to posts from last summer. I was in SUCH a dark place. I couldn’t see it then, but can sure see it now. I hope that I don’t go back to drinking this summer. Life is so much better right now. I am in full control and feeling healthier than I’ve felt in a very long time (physically and mentally).
I am a little nervous about going up to Tawas. I’m only going for 2 nights. Then coming home and leaving to go back up the next day with Big Ant on Friday to spend the 4th of July up there. Going up this week will be sort of practice because my relapses have happened up there. I will be there alone with the kids and there will be no reason at all to drink. Next week may be tricky. More people will be up there and it is coming on the anniversary of my mom’s death (July 3rd). This will be the first sober anniversary and that makes me nervous. I even shared this at the last AA meeting. SO… arming myself with my tools and going to have a plan for the day. Going to try to continue enjoying sobriety and doing the things that keep me feeling good (working out, getting enough sleep, etc).
Much love <3
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