Update from August 2016-February 2017— I continued to drink regularly, drinking just about every night. Stringing two sober consecutive nights together was rare, and three was impossible. In January 2017 I discovered a podcast called The Recovery Elevator. By then, quitting was still heavily on my mind but I didn’t have the tools to be successful.
With the discovery of an excellent podcast called Recovery Elevator, I am finally making progress. I listened regularly to back episodes for a good 2-3 weeks before making the decision to quit.
I learned so much from the podcasts and am still learning.
One of the most valuable things I learned is to take one day at a time. Up until now, thinking about quitting would cause me great anxiety. I would think about my upcoming birthday, or long summer days and be just so completely overwhelmed with the thought of abstaining. I learned to take it one day, or moment, at a time. I don’t have to think about tomorrow, or next week, or my 40th birthday on the biggest party day of the year next month. All I need to think and focus on is today. If I can abstain today, then I am A-Ok!
Another thing I learned is that my addiction has an inner voice and it sounds like me talking. She says things like, “I’ll just have one.” “I can handle it tonight, and stop tomorrow.” and other horrible lies. I still need to learn to recognize her and separate her voice from mine. I call my inner demon voice “Betsy”.
Something else that I learned is that this is a work in progress, and will always be a work in progress. Meetings, learning, writing, etc. I haven’t gone to a meeting yet, but there is a local one in 2 days and I plan on attending. I also have a therapist lined up. I have issues in my head, and will have more issues from recovering that I will need to deal with. I’m happy to report that I found one that came highly recommended. If I go to her and am not happy with her, then I will find another one.
This is only my 2nd night sober. I think they say the first 72 hours is the worst. Yesterday and last night was ok, but today was much harder. It was Sunday. I always drink on Sundays, sometimes starting as early as dinnertime. I am currently almost ready for bed and drinking sleepy time tea. Totally looking forward to waking up sober.
I am so thankful for finding that podcast, it sure helped steer me in the right directions. I can see by reading earlier posts that I was blind last summer to what I really needed to do. I am looking forward to living a colorful life and being stronger for beating this!
#alcoholaddiction #recovery #soberliving #recoveryelevator #sobriety